Train Up Tuesday: Red, White and Blue Summer and Remembering

This past Sunday marked a milestone for my family.  It has been 30 years since my father passed away.  I guess you could say he "won" his battle with cancer in the ultimate healing.  I was only 5 at the time, but I'll NEVER forget the flag ceremony at the end of the funeral (my Daddy was a Marine Sergeant who died from complications of a brain tumor, no doubt resulting from work in his line of duty).  To this day, I still have a soft spot for veterans and active servicemen.  

The few memories I have of my father are still quite vivid, for I've replayed them in my mind over and over and over throughout the years.  My younger brother had just turned two a few weeks before Memorial Day that year, so he has no memories, only photos and a few stories.  There isn't much to speak of regarding Dad's extended family (adoption and other situations limiting that) so memories of his childhood are non-existent for us.  So, to commemorate this year, I relied on social networking (FB) and asked friends who knew him way back when to fill us in on any details, stories, glimpses into our Dad's life.  It was WONDERFUL to get back several responses.  Sunday morning, my brother and Mom and I sat down to breakfast together and I shared those stories.  It opened up opportunities to hear some things from my Mom that she might have otherwise not thought of sharing.

Memorial Day is special to me, because I'll NEVER forget.  Perhaps you've lost someone special and close in your life.  Maybe someone special in your life has lost someone.  Don't be afraid of memories.  Don't be afraid to explore them.  Don't be afraid to share them.  Most of our older adult friends have no idea what their little memories of our father mean to my brother and me.  "You look just like him." "You have his eyes."  "You walk like him."  "He was so kind and a gentleman."  "Your father was a good man."  Those simple phrases - they mean a world to some people!  They let you know a life mattered and didn't go unnoticed.  And for children who may not have rich memories on their own, it helps with healing, with putting "pieces together", and with helping to "never forget".  That can be a fear on its on - forgetting.  "What if I can't remember a smell, a voice, a laugh, a touch?!"  Stories from friends and loved ones aid in keeping the memory close to the surface in a good way.

As I've posted before, May through September can be a special time for patriots - Memorial Day, Flag Day, Fourth of July (my Daddy's FAVORITE!), Veteran's Day.  Don't let it all "jumble together".  Go to a ceremony.  Visit the grave of a fallen veteran and reminisce.  Drive down a Main Street and see the flags.  Go to a parade.  Celebrate your liberties. Buy a meal for a veteran.  Send poppies.  Make some Americana crafts.  Share stories, listen to stories of veterans.

Make the most of all of it this summer!  May it be a Red, White, and Blue one!  

-Ashlie

Train Up Tuesday: Thanks to Teachers...and Moms

Happy Teacher Appreciation Week!

I don't know if this is relatively "new" to this generation.  I don't remember anyone participating in this when I was growing up, but it is a lovely thought - thanking teachers. Teachers have to have great patience.  I know it's tough having patience with teaching my own children, and they forgive me when I "lose it", so I can't imagine what it would be like to try to get a dozen or more students on track that don't belong to me personally and not "lose it" with them!

Today, I'd like to thank the teachers who made a memorable impact on my life.  Certainly all of them did in their own way, but there are a few that stick out to me.

In first grade, Mrs. Dixon taught us many things, but it was memorizing John 3:14-19 that sticks out the most.  Imagine being a 6 year old and learning to quote 6 verses!  It felt like such a huge accomplishment.  I remember that as being one of the first things I learned that made me truly proud.  Thanks to those teachers who know that their students are capable and give them what may seem to the little minds "big things" to learn and to do.  It sets new levels of confidence in abilities AND, especially in the case with Scripture memorization, it plants something in their hearts and minds that they will never forget.

In second grade, (don't worry, I'm not going to take you through EACH grade), Mrs. Deal made learning so much fun.  I remember the joy of it being my turn to do a small task (line leader, anyone?), the "freedom" of going to the back table for exploring after completing my classwork, but mostly, it was the songs she taught us.  Silly songs.  Songs about God and Christ.  I can remember to this day almost each one.  And thankfully, I have children who are learning these songs from me now.  Thanks to the teachers who make school days something to look forward to, even in the smallest details without ever having to spend an extra dime to do so.  Thanks to those who teach things like music that are forever in our hearts and become a joy to share with others later in life.

There were certainly others who provided other wonderful things to my life throughout elementary school and junior high.  I mostly enjoyed school during those days.  As I moved into a new school with kids and teachers I didn't know as a freshman, my life took a hard turn.  As a new kid in a new school, along with other hard things my heart was going through, I was relentlessly picked on by a couple of students.  A boy in my grade and a girl a grade above me.  Mostly, it was this boy who made my life most miserable.  I had to start the day off with this kid in my homeroom, which was also my Bible class.  I think I was one of the few students who actually liked Bible class (in a Christian school!).  Even though starting the day with this boy's tormenting words was not something I liked, it was the teacher, Mr. Sandidge who helped make homeroom a safe place for me.

Honestly, I don't know if he was even aware of it.  I ran into him a few years ago and am certain he didn't remember me, but I thanked him for being the teacher he was in those days.  He didn't spend any special time talking to me in class or out of class.  He didn't try to "protect me" in front of the others.  But it was the fact that he seemed to notice that this little introverted, awkward girl seemed interested in the subject he taught and recognized my thoughts and ideas as something of value.  I can clearly remember him reading my papers or ideas aloud (something I would NOT have done myself in front of that class).  So, I'm thankful for those teachers who make "safe places" in their classes for kids like me who may be getting bullied but aren't speaking up; teachers who recognize ideas and thoughts of the new or introverted and share them in a way that doesn't make the child feel further terrified, but rather valued.

I also want to thank the public school (or even Christian school) teachers who reach out to students that they know need the Lord and even help in discipling them or fostering a love for things that are godly.  My husband was one such student attending public school.  After a radical conversion, it was a public school teacher who would pass him gospel music and fueled his love for Christ and godly music.

Just yesterday, a Facebook friend posted "Happy Teacher Appreciation Week" on my wall.  I'm a homeschool mom, so this is probably the only time I've had this said to me.  It was well received ;-)  This friend, though her children aren't home schooled and she and I don't get to connect in the "real world", recognized the value of the work I do.  I'm sure you have at least one friend who is a home school mom who could use your words of appreciation today!

I would be remissed if I didn't also thank mothers everywhere, especially with Mother's Day just around the corner.  Whether you homeschool or not...you are teaching your children.  Teaching them is a command we are given.  Often, our "teaching" (along with other duties) is overlooked by others, not seen as having "worth", and often isn't given the appreciation it is due.  So, thank you, Mothers for all you do in molding your children.  It can be a thankless job...but you are appreciated ;-)

-Ashlie

Train Up Tuesday: Increased Faith

During our recent 2 months of chaos, we had lots of time home...which meant lots of time making due with what was in the cupboards to keep from going to the grocery store. We had plenty, but there are always those items you have to constantly replenish with 3 little boys. Top of the list? MILK!

I know you've heard the stories of the "saints" who needed food or supplies that were miraculously delivered in their times of real need...needs for themselves, orphans, or others. This particular "need" didn't rank up there with those. However, there we were, stuck with just a little milk (enough for one of them), food that "only tastes good when you are having milk with it" as a snack before bed, and the knowledge that there would not be milk for breakfast unless Nana arrived in time the next morning (she alone knew about our "need" and was bringing some by the next morning before church; my husband was out of town and could not fetch said milk or watch little sickly ones so that I could).

So...my boys and I did the only thing we knew to do. We prayed. They knew God hears prayers and answers them. I (though skeptical, honestly), thought this would be a great opportunity to see their faith increased....especially if milk "fell from the sky"! I mean, mine would have been increased, too! Those little voices asking God for something simple as milk, which, again, wasn't an urgent need, were so precious, honest, and sincere. We would have made it fine without the milk. But this need to pray was most important.

Fast forward about 20 minutes later. We await my saintly, very-pregnant-at-the-time sister who was dropping off homemade doughnuts her husband made. We were expecting her to come, but I was in no way going to ask her to stop for milk! She had 2 babies already of her own and things she needed to do.

Her car pulls in. I open the door to see her carrying the doughnuts and lugging a grocery bag obviously full of something heavy, and immediately I know what it is. I call for the boys to come to the door. They are all smiling and celebrating, "Praise the Lord! God gave us milk! God told Aunt Paige!"

He did indeed. My sis "happened" to talk to my mom before arriving at our house and my mom mentioned that we needed milk. You can call it "coincidence"...but God's timing is amazing. My boys told this story to EVERYONE for days! ....and they started praying for EVERYTHING that they saw we "needed" in the following days.

Faith increased? Check! Now to explain the difference between "need" (milk) and wants ("Oreos").

How has your faith been increased lately?

-Ashlie

Train Up Tuesday: Recipients of Encouragement

Are you one of those people that enjoy doing just about anything for someone else...but you almost cringe at the thought of someone having to help you out? Maybe you think you can handle it or you honestly don't want to burden anyone. Maybe it's that you think someone else could better use the offered help or encouragement.

Can I tell you that it might be pride that keeps you from allowing others to step in? How dare I say it? Oh, because I remember coming to that realization several years ago. And by "coming to", I really mean, having it pointed out. Yeah, it was by my immediate supervisor at a previous job. I was talking about my aggravation at having done something mindlessly stupid (locking my keys in a car hours away from home...and trust me, it wasn't a simple remedy like getting a locksmith...it was in a remote area...it involved being driven home

late at night and having to make arrangements to go back to pick up the car the next day). I mentioned that I wouldn't have minded being the one helping someone in a fix, but I loathed being the one that needed the help IN the fix. Quite gently, my boss pointed out that sometimes not wanting others to help us out is a sign of pride in our own life. Ouchie. He said he didn't mean that was the case in my situation...just a thought.

That could have blown right over...except that same day...literally...same day, I had opened an new book and guess the topic...pride in handling things ourselves. Ugh!

So, all that to say I've been in a process of allowing more people to "help" and to "encourage" me in all that is "life". It's still not easy. I mean we all have ways of doing things in

manners that we prefer. Sometimes we can get caught up in our own ways that we can shut out the offers of others.

But people want to help, right? They don't simple want to be the recipients of love, they want to give love, too. And they are blessed for doing so. We shouldn't rob them of their poten

tial blessings. Nor should we shortchange ourselves the beauty of seeing them as caring for us.

My sister (who was VERY pregnant and I think actually due the week she offered help) organized a week's worth of meals for my family last month, when we had been in the thick of much sickness and doctors/hospital visits. It wasn't necessary, I could have handled it. Others were surely in more need than us, but God knew that WE were in need of seeing our "neighbors" in the light of His love. Everything fromhomemade meals, pizza delivery (with pepperoni shaped into a heart), and a catered buffet of sorts from Panera (the nearest one is 25 minutes away from us!), and giftcards for meals showed up at our home throughout the week. The neatest thing was seeing my boys light up at the deliveries. We talked about the graciousness of the friends/family represented in each meal. It was God's love in action. They witnessed it as recipients so now they know what it feels like to be cared for by a "neighbor" in Christ. My hope is that they will remember this in the future when we are able to care for another.

(oven fresh lovin'!)

(you don't always need a dozen flowers to brighten your day...a dozen sandwiches can do the trick, too)

Throughout that week, I remember asking, "Is it possible to be overwhelmed but not surprised?" We were overwhelmed by the outpouring, but knowing the people who gave of themselves, we were not surprised, because they have often showed their love for Christ in their actions, words and attitudes.

I also was overwhelmed by words of encouragement. A Facebook message. A card. A phone call with my Mom or sister. Earnest prayers. Also that "one" phone call. In the middle of caring for 3 boys, my husband answered the phone. It was a friend from a few years ago. Not a super close friend that I hung out with. One I attended church with for a few years and got to know a little. Although she has a Facebook account, I think the last time she checked it was 3 years ago :) However, she called me. She said, "I don't really know why I'm calling. It may be nothing. But I've had you on my heart for about 3 weeks now. God keeps putting little things in my way that make me think of you. So, of course I prayed for you, but God told me to call you...and now finally I have." WOW! She had not seen any "status updates" and hasn't been in my "circle" for years, yet God spoke to her to pray for me. And she did. And she called to encourage me. THAT is amazing!

So, friend, see someone in need? You don't have to look far to be a help. Most of us want to do that.

Friend, are you in need? Have there been offers to help minister to your soul in some way? Don't shut it out. YES, it will encourage you and let you see them in the light of Christ...but you also afford them the opportunity to be blessed with the "feel goods" or validation that their encouragement to you was a God send.

Hope you allow yourself to be encouraged ;-)

Ashlie

Train Up Tuesday: A REALLY Good Friday

I hope you had a wonderful Holy Week, a GREAT Good Friday, and a lovely Resurrection Day! It was the most memorable one for our little family. I'm wiped out, truly!

We enjoyed several of the activities I mentioned last week, and my Seder meal took quite a bit of time! We didn't eat until 7:30 which is VERY late for my family. But everyone was very patient. It was quite memorable and something I hope to repeat....as long as I start roasting the lamb and preparing other items earlier in the day :)

The foot washing was so precious and sweet. My husband had planned to be the only one to wash our feet, but our boys (6 and 3 1/2) both wanted to serve as well and speak blessings to each of us. I'll never forget it!

We celebrated Saturday with a Super Hero birthday party for my middle son about to turn 4. It was a blast! And being one of those seasons, we had another 4 y.o. birthday party to attend later that day. Whew!

Sunday was so lovely. Service at church with so much of our family and friends. Then meeting again later that evening for a big family meal and the favorite "Resurre ction Rolls"! I just love weekends like these, but I'm glad they only happen a few times a year....I was wiped out on Monday! But it was a good kind of "wiped out". One I'd much rather have than the kind of "wiped out" I had for two months in a row...

As I mentioned last week, February and March were doozies of months for my family. Nothing "life altering" per se, but a lot of "life" happening all at one time. It felt like an avalanche or like I was treading water continually. February we had a "visitor" who didn't want to leave. Though not diagnosed, I'm guessing it was that nasty norovirus. It hit my youngest 2 boys (3 1/2 and my then 15 m.o.)....twice. The baby had it the second time for almost 3 days! AND I was trying to wean him....AND he was cutting about 6 teeth at one time (and no, we weren't successful in the weaning process...he needed some comfort, poor guy!). It was such a rough month, but my "positive outlook" was that at least my husband was home for much of this (the first quarter of the year is usually very heavy travel for him). I knew March would be rough because his travel would pick back up and he'd be gone for a few days every week...starting with a 10 day trip....and, of course, he got sick right before he left.

Amazingly, those 10 days went by okay. I suppose by that point, I knew that "God had this" seeing that I witnessed Him bringing me through February. I thought it would be smooth sailing after that....and then my middle son had another respiratory "attack". He's had pneumonia 3 times since he was an infant and struggles with each cold or allergy. We are working on how to better deal with this. This most recent attack led to a 2 night stay in the hospital. My husband stayed with him both nights (he's amazing!). During the second night, my baby began to struggle with similar respiratory problems due to a cold.

It was so scary for me. I cried out in desperation to God, not understanding. I immediately asked God to search my heart to reveal anything I was doing wrong. My husband and God's Word, however, helped me understand that God isn't always out to act punitively towards us, though we can often be led to believe that. Long story short, God brought us through all of that. I've learned (am learning) lessons from that time and I hope to share some of the sweetness with you.

Next week, I plan to tell you what ministered to me most during those 2 months. Again, it wasn't such a big deal in the grand scheme of life. But in the moments, it was very difficult to see any "good" or "worth" in it.

Train Up Tuesday: What We're Up To

Hey gals, have any of you noticed our absence on Tuesdays lately? "Life" has been happening to me. I didn't just have ONE "month of Mondays", we were hit with craziness in February AND March! And from the sounds of it, it's been hitting a lot of my friends, family, andacquaintances. But more about that in a future post :)

For now, I'd just like to share a few things brewing in our home to help

us focus on "joy" and good stuff (I'm fond of Pollyanna's "glad game" concept...we'v

e certainly needed something like that around here lately). I found this cute idea on....wait for it....Pinterest and thought I'd introduce it to my family. It's a "warm fuzzies" jar. (Here is the original site that was pinned, which also has several REALLY great Resurrection week ideas!) I placed 100 pompoms (since we recently hit our 100th day of classwork) in the heart and when one family member notices someone else's kind deed or thoughtfulness within the family, the "doer" gets to put a "warm fuzzy" in the vase. Right now, that's all the motivation my little guys need to play the game....just getting to transfer the bright fuzzies. I guess you could have a "reward" for filling the other jar if you felt it necessary, but it is a bit nice to just find satisfaction in noting someone else's kindness, don'tcha think?

Also, I've really wanted to incorporate more celebration and awareness of Holy Week and Resurrection Sunday. It can be a new concept particularly to a Protestant who wasn't brought up much in the way of liturgy. Again, Pinterest was somewhat helpful, but some of my FAVORITE ideas have (once again) come

from Impress Your Kids. One of the posts has a collection of other readers' ideas. I really liked the Resurrection Garden. We made one together and it is quite lovely (even though I don't have a green thumb, I was thankful for being able to dig up grass and moss patches in our own yard....RESOURCEFUL!) ;-)

We are also mixing up our homeschool curriculum and focusing on the lessons that lead us through Holy Week (another reason I love "My Father's World). I'm adding some of the ideas from Impress Your Kids to make it a sensory experience with my boys.

Yesterday, we talked about "The Last Supper" and broke bread with my husband over Skype during his lunch break at work. My oldest (6 y.o.) read from his Bible Reader about the bread. It was lovely.

I hope to have a family foot washing on Maundy Thursday and then prepare our first Seder meal for Good Friday as we talk about Passover to really draw my boys into the story of that final week leading to the Resurrection. I find that recreating the scene really gets lodged into their little brains and hearts. (I saw it in action as we acted out the feeding of the 5000 recently...what fun they had trying to carry 12 "baskets"!) To find out more about a Seder Meal, check out Thriving Family.

Be sure to look back through posts from previous years to see what other Resurrection fun we've had here on the Roof! I know my oldest (AND my husband) looks forward to the Resurrection Rolls again this year!

He IS Risen!...we don't even have to wait until Sunday to celebrate!!!

Ashlie

Train Up Tuesday: THE Greatest Love of All

There has been so much to say about Ms. Whitney Houston's death. Much of it reflects sadness not only on how many of us presume she passed, but also over how she chose to live much of her life. She provided so many "anthems" that are considered the "gold standard" in music now. Unfortunately, between the lines of her songs and her life is clearly marked sadness and loneliness unsuccessfully veiled with false self-confidence. And even more unfortunately, these songs really are anthems for this generation.

Consider today "The Greatest Love of All", it speaks of how children today need to be taught well and led, how in her own search for a "hero", she found no one to meet her needs and found loneliness as a result. In attempt to take care of herself, she looked to herself to find that the "greatest love" is "learning to love yourself". Sadly, in the end, she learned that this was not enough after all.

Is this enough for our children? Looking to themselves for their safety, love, acceptance? There HAS to be more that we can teach them! Well, I have GREAT news, WE CAN teach them and show them a better way!

Do you know THE Greatest Love of all? Of course, I'm talking about Christ, primarily. But there is something more I want to share. If you are married, it is your marriage relationship. Read Ephesians 5:22-29 for full context, but read this quote by John Piper:

The main meaning of marriage is to display the covenant-keeping love between Christ and his church. In other words, marriage was designed by God most deeply, most importantly, to be a parable or a drama of the way Christ loves his church and the way the church loves and follows Christ. This is the most important thing for all husbands and wives to know about the meaning of their marriage.

"Marriage Is Meant for Making Children...Disciples of Jesus, Part 1." (Sermon delivered on June 10, 2007).

I came across this during our youth group's Sunday night gatherings. We are using a resource from "Children Desiring God."

Teaching our children to love, value, and respect the marriage covenant IS the way we can teach them and lead them in the greatest love of all and in leading others towards that. Are you valuing that relationship? Are you doing everything to protect it and honor it, to make it of primary importance to your family? Are you preserving it for your children's sake and the sake of the unchurched? I've mentioned it here before, that Titus 2 isn't there just so we can have happy homes for our own sakes, but so that God's Word isn't dishonored. Do we really believe that?

One of my awesome girls in my 10th-12th grade small group that I am humbled to lead brought up something quite profound. We were discussing Satan's lies and how he makes the "traditional" family look unnecessary or lacking. I asked them why they thought Satan fights so hard to tear down the traditional family and makes divorce look acceptable and desirable. One dear girl said (and I paraphrase poorly), that Satan hates the picture of Christ loving the Church for eternity despite their shortcomings. He seeks to destroy that testimony to the world so that the world won't believe that Christ could really love them that much.

Wow! This is one girl who IS being led properly in her home and is learning to have that Christian worldview. And she is right. Satan does want to fight tooth and nail to blind us and the world to God's love and perfect plan.

Let me leave you with a slightly more inspirational song that you may hear today, in light of the greatest love of all. The message isn't perfect, but if you can "redeem" the lyrics in light of Christ's love for the Church and our love for Him, maybe you'll think a little differently next time you hear "I Was Made to Love Her". Take it, Stevie:

Train Up Tuesday: I HEART Resourcefulness!

Okay, this really isn't a deep subject, but I love resourcefulness. Sometimes I get mistaken for someone who is creative, when in reality, I think it's just that I'm cheap....er, thrifty...and don't like throw too many things away that I think I could use for another purpose (don't worry, I'm not THAT bad!...you'll never see me on one of those hoarders shows). I prefer the word "resourceful" over cheap and thrifty, though.

Things that get me excited? Well, Pinterest (naturally). But also, I recently found myfridgefood.com. You can check off what you already have on hand in your pantry and fridge and voila! SEVERAL recipes for you to make based on your list! (Okay, so, if you don't have very much on hand, I suppose your list would be pretty short.) I made fried cheese...yeah, just shredded cheese fried in a pan. My kids loved it...why couldn't I think of THAT on my own?!

I also recently read an email sent to me on the hundreds of uses for coffee filters. And guess what? When I was making said fried cheese, I was out of paper towels....so....coffee filters fit the bill that day :)

So what's the point of this and how does it relate to kiddos? Train them to be resourceful! Yeah, I know that's simple and seems like common sense, but I think that today's kids have missed out on learning "street smarts" and resourcefulness. We have gadgets and gizmos for everything these days. Many kids are super busy with so many "things" and activities, and when they do have the rare moments of being bored, they aren't encouraged to be left to their imaginations.

We all know the best 5 toys of all time include a box, a stick, and a string. If you have to "give" something to your child to encourage imagination and resourcefulness, start with those basics. When your child asks for something she doesn't have, suggest an alternative in using something she already owns. Make a game of coming up with as many different ideas or uses for one toy, tool, or gadget. Pretend you are an alien from another planet and trying to figure out what the gadget is. Look for open-ended toys to encourage play.


It's in boredom and in times of "want" that creativity and resourcefulness really blossom! Think of the great inventions and stories that come from these times! Don't sell your child short by not allowing him to use the gift of time and the things around him and in his head to do or make something spectacular (in his or her own world).

Train Up Tuesday: My 3 Sons

Chris Kale Photography

I love being a mom, for so many reasons (although from recent posts you've learned what an exhausting job it can be!). One of the things I love about relationships that God allows us to experience (friendships, marriage, parenthood) is how it can cause us to wonder about God's relationship with us.

Recently, now that I have 3 boys with 3 personalities and various needs, I've been praying (quite earnestly) about making sure that God makes up the difference in the attention and time that I give to each child. I love them all so much, but sometimes I fear that one may lack in the attention he needs from momma.

My oldest child is in his second year of homeschool. That means he gets lots of attention from me (thought not always my completely undivided attention). He thrives on learning and doing new things.

My youngest child is a newly walking toddler, into everything, exploring everything, and still needing mommy for lots of things (especially attention). I love the "newness" of this relationship and discovering his personality.

Then, there is my precious middle son, and if you have a "middle" you know what I mean. He sometimes will observe classtime lessons and do the activities to the best of his ability, but usually he wants to get into something other than what is on task. :) He often gets "into trouble", "on my nerves" (asking for things that I can't do at that moment), or like at this VERY moment he is under my arm shaking my hand as I type making an otherwise easy task quite difficult. But....I love him for it. And I know he probably lacks in getting the most attention. So, I have to be purposeful in taking him with me on errands (alone), letting him help me in the kitchen (though it takes at least twice as long), and just holding his hand while walking through the house to let him know I know he is there, and I am there for him.

I wonder if God lets us see this as parents to maybe let us catch a glimpse of Him. We all are in different parts of our walk with Him. Are we deep in His Word, learning about Him, walking with Him and thriving in that each day? Are we new in Christ and relishing in all that the newness brings? Or maybe we feel like we are missing out on something (whether or not it is of our on doing). Yes, sometimes the nearness we feel to Christ is a result of correction, but sometimes it can be His presence as we seemingly struggle in finding where we "fit" with Him and His family.

Regardless of where we are "in THE family", it is so reassuring to know that God wants to draw near to us and will use any means necessary to bring us to that point. Yes, He indeed draws near to those who draw near to Him.

My sweet middle son is indeed striving to draw near to mom, and though I may not be able to give him the same attention as his brothers, I desire to be near him, too. And, though through different methods, I do just that.

If you feel yourself as a mom, struggling to keep balance with your babies and their needs for your attention, pray to the Father to help you make up the difference and that HE would make up the difference in their lives as well.

And take time to thank Christ for wherever you are in your relationship with Him. Seek to draw near to Him and thank Him for how He expresses His love towards you, even though it may not look just like the way He is expressing it to someone else. "Oh, how He loves us!"

Blessings,

Ashlie

Train Up Tuesday: Lest I Forget That I Only Have Them a Short Time

Ever have one of those weeks, days, or months where parenting is just plain tough?! That's been me the last few weeks. Yeah, I read the Good Book and other good books, and implement what I know to be true and timeless standards, but sometimes, it's just tough. Lately, it's been one of those "I-love-you-but-I-don't-really-like-you-at-this-moment" kind of seasons.

In times like these (come on, even those of us who see this as "no greater joy" still have times like this, right?...or is it just me?...are those crickets I hear chirping?), I've found great encouragement in a few things:

1. Admit it - to your spouse, to friends, hey, even on (dare I say?) Facebook. I did all of those things recently. My husband is amazing and knows how to refresh my spirit. And all it took on FB was a status update: "I could use prayers today. Having a tough day as a mom/disciplinarian." That alone lit up my wall with encouraging comments and prayers of friends that I know are lifted me in prayer. It also welcomed inbox messages from people who otherwise wouldn't have ministered to me (thinking I otherwise have it "together" all the time).

2. Pray - which is "admitting it" to God, but it is also a way to soften your heart towards your children, because you do want to mold them into God's image and into turning their hearts towards him.

3. Read your Bible. The ultimate in true godly counsel!

4. Good music. My 15 m.o. son figured out how to find music on my iPhone long before I did! The other night, he pulled up one of my favorites (okay, he's not really a genius, he didn't know it was a favorite, but I do think God was working through my baby's fat little fingers at that moment). Jars of Clay "Boys (Lesson One)" - it speaks of a parent handing down lessons of great worth...and the reminder that all this (growing up, parenting) goes by all too quickly...

Sara Groves also has a couple of songs that I'm trying to keep in my heart and mind: "Prayers for This Child" and "Song for My Sons" (the first being a "prayer" and the second being similar to the Jars' song for its "advice").

Hope that brings you some encouragement to keep pressing on!

Ashlie

Train Up Tuesday: The Conspiracy

If you are an ardent Advent lover, you've probably already heard of the Advent Conspiracy. It's for those of you who want more from Christmas...and by "more" I DON'T mean more gifts :) Check out this video for a brief overview:

When I was first introduced to AC a couple of years ago, it was instrumental in impacting my family's traditions. It has lead us to spend less on each other, make more gifts, get creative, and give more towards missions (local and internationally) and towards those around us in need of help or encouragement. The last few years have been exceptionally wonderful for us. I can't remember much that I've received in way of packaged gifts, but what we've received as a family in contentment, joy, quality and quantity time cannot be matched.

I hope that the recent weeks' posts have encouraged your gift making and giving, but more than that, I hope this week's post drives you to do more by doing less in some areas.

Merry Christmas & join the Conspiracy!

Ashlie

Train Up Tuesday: B*E*L*I*E*V*E

(Pinterest pic...couldn't find original source)

So, last week, I directed you to the website Impress Your Kids for a great tutorial (on ahomemade gift idea) and to be inspired for Advent ideas. Well, guess what? Although I'm a subscriber, I sometimes get behind on fresh reads from my favorite sites. In doing that, I didn't realize that Amanda (Impress Your Kids) has a downloadable Advent book "Truth inthe Tinsel" complete with daily lessons and ornaments (that can be made with household items)! Best part....it's only $4.99 and you can download it IMMEDIATELY! "Yeah, but it's already December 6!" No sweat! She has alternate schedules so that you don't have to feel pressured to complete all 24 days. So, go there NOW (well...when you finish reading this blog, first) ;-)

Speaking of "Truth in the Tinsel", two of the lessons from the last few days have really got me thinking. One day, we learned about Gabriel's message to Zechari

ah regarding the joyous news that he and his wife would have a baby, even in their old age (Luke 1:5-25). Zechariah doubted, and as a result, the angel shut his mouth so that he would not be able to speak until John (the baby) was born.

(Zechariah ornaments my boys made from "Truth in the Tinsel")

The next day, we learned about Gabriel's message to Mary, that not ONLY would she conceive though she had not "known" a man, but that her son would be THE SON of the Most High (Luke 1:26-38)! And her words? "Be it unto me, according to your word." She may have been "troubled" by the saying, but she had no disbelief.

(Ornament made by my oldest)

Now, when I contrast those 2 messages, it seems more likely that Mary should have doubted, for her news not only seemed impossible, but also a little "lofty", whereas Zechariah's news was more on the "highly improbable" list. But how many times do we do this...doubt something that is "highly improbable" at best (or worst?)?

I wonder how many times that our doubt has resulted in us missing opportunities to proclaim knowledge of God's hand at work while it was happening or about God's peace while we were waiting for the promise. Maybe God is still going to "do" as He promised, but because of our doubt, we miss being able to give Him glory in the meantime.

I so want to be like Mary - when faced with joyous (though maybe intimidating or overwhelming) news - that I sing and praise even before there is evidence of the arrival of God's promise. I don't want to have "nothing to say" or be unable to speak of what I see God doing because I doubt!

Just BELIEVE!

Homemade Gift #5

Are you enjoying the homemade gifts from the last month? I know they are nothing fancy. I don't know how to sew, I don't knit, so I have limitations with time and knowledge as to what I can do. But I do enjoy the little bit that I DO get to make!

This week's idea is very easy. I like scrapbooks (have NEVER made one)...but I LOVE photo books that you can put together electronically on various sites. This year for my Want, Need, Wear, Read gifts, each of my 3 boys are getting a photo book filled with photos from a previous year of their life (can you say, "someone neglected keeping up with baby books"?).

I've used a few different photo sharing sites, but so far, my favorite is Shutterfly, both for quality, affordability (especially with discounts this time of year), and ease of putting it together (which, with 3 boys ranks pretty high on my list of importance). I especially love their custom path.

Because of a recent shipping special, I also ordered some extra Christmas cards from them (I'd rather spend my money on a product to qualify for free shipping than to pay for shipping!) They have some lovely Christmas card designs as well as lots of other designs in their collection (maybe for a New Year's card if it's too late for you to do a holiday card?).

Family Gallery Christmas Card

Turn your favorite pictures into personalized Christmas cards.

View the entire collection of cards.

Here is a preview of our card!

Take care!

Ashlie

Train Up Tuesday: What's in THE Name?

I LOVE Isaiah 9:6 and this print is a beauty! (Be sure to head over to jonesdesigncompany.com where you can download this print in this color and a blue/gray version)

This verse is often quoted at Christmastime, and appropriately so. It's no wonder that it is used in Advent readings, as well. Speaking of which, this week marks the first week of Advent! If you are looking for appropriate Advent readings, BillyGraham.org has a GREAT series.

Are you also looking for ways to teach your children about the names of God? There are plenty of great resources out there, I'm sure, but I adore the site: Impress Your Kids. She has SO many ideas that are great for every day, but she has helped shaped our family in great ways with activities, lessons, and even the homemade gift below!

Homemade Gift (#3)
Last year, I saw a great tutorial on Impress Your Kids on how to cut out your own letters, apply them to a canvas, paint over it, and VOILA! make a beautiful personalized painting.



Amanda at Impress Your Kids used a favorite quote from the Jesus Storybook Bible (which you know I LOVE). I used it for one of my "Want, Need, Wear, Read" gifts (the "Read" one) by combining the names of my 3 boys into a painting along with the verse that inspired their names. It turned out beautifully (the picture isn't great...had to snap it at night with low light):



It really was a simple project (and inexpensive). I used a canvas from Goodwill that I painted over. I was able to complete this project over the course of a couple days' worth of naptimes (with 3 boys, that's the only way I could do it!) It's well worth your time and makes a great impact! I hope to make more in the future for family birthdays and such.

You could even use the idea for the Isaiah 9:6 verse! How lovely that would be. :)

Enjoy your countdown!
Ashlie

Train Up Tuesday: Getting "Stuff" Out of the Way for Thanksgiving

There are a couple of pictures on Pinterest (I know, roll eyes now) that made me stop....longer than to just "pin" them, but to really think about them. Maybe you've seen them or pinned them (no judgment here):

AND THIS ONE:

Please don't think I'm "over spiritual", but as lovely as these sentiments are....I think that we (at least in western culture) have let thanking God for all our "stuff" get in the way of thanking God for all HE is. Certainly, I think we can "take a break" from asking God for anything, but I think we can do more than thank Him for all we "have", unless of course those "haves" are things like, salvation, His protection, His provision for our real needs, etc. (as opposed to our really awesome house or that really good steak we had the other week).

And what if we DID only wake up with those things we "thanked God for yesterday"? I don't think I'm alone in thinking that I'd still be content, because I do continually thank Him for my family and my relationship of Him....those "things" that matter most.

Please make no mistake. I'm not that hard-nosed. Of course I think that hearing a child thank God for the Hershey kisses he got to have that day or for his favorite toy of the moment is precious and I understand how we can "thank God" for a caffeine boost that seemed to get us through the day. But, I think sometimes we overuse "thank you God", like we overuse "love" (i.e. "I LOVE those new shoes!"). It's almost like taking that phrase in vain. I think we fail to get beyond the "stuff" part of our gratitude and fail to see the One who provides, protects, and so on.

So, while thanking God for the year of bounty, I hope I remember to take time to thank God for those attributes that acknowledge Him for who He is and how I've seen Him in my family's life over the last year. I hope I don't just let my list of favorite stuff get in the way of true gratitude.

Happy Thanksgiving!
Ashlie

Train Up Tuesday: TIME OUT for Thanksgiving

The last couple of weeks, we've been considering "Advent" and "homemade gifts". But this week, I HAVE to take a TIME OUT! I definitely want to get the "Advent" message out there (because in years past, I haven't given enough time in advance to actually allow readers to prepare before Advent). However, I do not like what the over-commercialization (and even well-meaning preparation) of Christmas has done to other important November holidays (can you say "Veterans Day" and "Thanksgiving"?).

So, this week, take some time and re-visit some previous Roof posts on "Thanksgiving". You'll find some great old and new traditions to consider and some fun ideas to celebrate THIS season.

Don't get so caught in the hustle and bustle of buying or making gifts that you fail to be thankful for here and now!
-Ashlie

Train Up Tuesday: Random Acts of Kindness and Homemade Gift #2

Did you know that November 7th is the beginning of "Random Acts of Kindness" week? You may remember a link to some great RAoK ideas a few weeks ago. Well, I searched on "Pinterest" for some more ideas (unrelated to blogging about it here) and was pleasantly surprised with THIS RAoK Advent idea (Random Acts of Christmas Kindness)! What a GREAT way to "redeem the time" and make the focus of Advent what it was truly intended to be!

I also like the timing of the "RAoK Week" because it leads up to "Veterans Day." Wouldn't it be lovely to take some time THIS week to do some "random acts" for a Veteran you know? Or perhaps you don't personally know a Veteran. Maybe you could keep your eyes peeled when you are in public for some men and women wearing flag pins or hats. You could secretly pay for their meal or coffee and perhaps leave a note of encouragement and thanks to them. Maybe you could do something for the family of a Veteran (those spouses and children have made much sacrifice, as well).

Although (I think) Veterans should often receive "special treatment", I doubt it is as commonplace as it once was. Your children may ask why you are doing it; perhaps the receiver asks as well. Make sure that your children and the Veterans know that it is more than mere appreciation, but that you are a "servant of Christ" and it is your delight to serve or encourage others so that they may see Christ.

What a GREAT opportunity that RAoK Week and Veterans Day affords us this week! Check out randomactsofkindness.org for more ideas!

Homemade Gift (2)
This next gift is so much fun! It's a dress up trunk! Almost every little boy or girl I know would love such a gift. Last year, I collected clothes and costumes for my niece at half price sales at thrift stores and by rummaging through my own unused collection of purses, bags, accessories and jewelry. With the Halloween season behind us, you may be able to score some great steals on costumes. Your imagination is the only limitation! Find either an old suitcase or a rubber storage container. I LOVED seeing my niece's expressions as she discovered all the treasures inside.

Another play on this idea is to make "when I grow up" kits. Maybe you collect things for an original doctor's kit (bandages, cute cold compresses), housewife's cleaning box (empty squirt bottles, aprons, cute rags), or even something imaginative like a "knight's chest" or a "space explorer's backpack". This year, I'm working on a Caboodle's box (does ANYONE remember those?!) filled with real curling and flat irons (with electrical cords removed), hair clips, hair embellishments (maybe I'll find some feathers), and fake make up. I found great inspiration for fake make up that doesn't involve the mess of the play make up. Be sure to check it out on Chasing Cheerios!

Hope this inspires your Advent Season AND your week (You don't have to save RACK for Christmas; make it Random Acts of CHRISTIAN Kindness any day!...Thanks to my friend, Kathy for that one) ;-)

Train Up Tuesday: Words of Affirmation and Homemade Gifts

Okay, let's just get it out there. It's NOVEMBER!!! I know it's still too early for most to think about Christmas, and I certainly DON'T want to rush my favorite holiday (Thanksgiving), but if you've been following the Roof for a while, you know that the ADVENT season is one of my favorite times of year. I always wait until almost the end of November to mention it, so I'm trying to get a jump on it this year. I love the "anticipation" of it all - not just the countdown to Christmas, but instilling the love of "anticipation" for our Lord's return.

So, if you are filled with this "anticipation", I'd like to offer some ideas over the next few weeks on what you can do as you await Christ's return AND an idea of how you can prepare for the coming holiday season.

If you recognize the phrase "Words of Affirmation", you may know the book "The Five Love Languages". (And if you don't know the book, it is WELL worth your read!) In case it doesn't ring a bell, it is the love language that uses the spoken (or written) word to encourage someone you love. Oddly enough, it is often people we think who don't need these words (extroverts, performer types, those managing or directing others) who often need them the most!



Recently, God has "blessed" my family with a few opportunities to use kind words (we started calling them "healing words" in light of our recent memory verse: Proverbs 12:18) in public situations dealing with people who work in some form of customer service. In a couple of different situations, women were struggling with either the boundaries of their position or their inexperience on their new job. In the one situation, we did not have the opportunity to "give" healing words, but in the car ride home, my oldest son asked if we could pray that the lady would have a better day (because it was certainly impacting those around her!). In the second situation, my boys heard me encourage the young lady that her day would get better, which led to another prayer for someone we didn't know.

I say this, not to brag on my "perfect" (*snort*) family, but to encourage you moms to take captive of those little opportunities to bring "healing words" to someone your family encounters THIS week! As a stay-at-home mom, I have to hunt and keep my eyes peeled for such encounters.

Homemade gift (#1)
Over the years, my family has experimented with different gift-givings to try to bring it all back into the right focus. We've done "Make, Bake, Sew, or Grow" (where the gifts you give must fit one of those categories thus making it somewhat homemade); with my kids we've given just 3 gifts (to represent the Magi) and last year we did 4 gifts for each (something you Want, you Need, to Wear, and to Read). We'll probably stick pretty close to the latter again this year. However, I always try to make at least one of the gifts I give (can you tell what MY "love language" is?).

This year, I'll try to share with you some easy-peasy gift ideas that you, too, can make (trust me, it'll be pretty easy....with 3 boys running around, I can't really get into too many crazy hobbies and craftiness)!

One gift that has been fun for me is decorating wooden peg dolls. I found loads of inspiration on Etsy.com and one year I made little families for my nieces and one set for our family (and if I can find a pic, I'll post one later).

This year, I hope to make peg superheros for at least one of my boys who is really into Spiderman lately. I found these cuties on Pinterest (but you can by these through an Etsy shop):




You can buy wooden pegs at Hobby Lobby (wait until unfinished wood goes on sale or take a coupon). If you want more shapes and sizes (as I did), you can buy them from Etsy as well. You can even use the old wooden clothespins (without the springs). Have fun with it, add "hair" or fabric if you are so inclined. OR, if you have a crafty one on your gift list, give them the supplies they need (paints, brushes, glue, pegs) so they can design their OWN peggies. I've even seen some drill little holes, attach a small hook, and make a cute necklace out of their peg people!

Peg people - it's a relatively quick, easy, and inexpensive crafty gift!

Happy November!
Ashlie

Train Up Tuesday: A Servant's Heart

There is a "theme" that keeps repeating itself around me...in my reading, talks and discussions, and even suggested blogs I receive from friends. It's that of "servanthood".

There is SO much I could write regarding how God is shaping our family in this way. It would take several posts (will this be a part 1 of several? We'll see?). Let's step our toes into the water first. :)

I clearly remember being taught to have a "servant's heart" as a kid in school. I can still remember the tune and most of the words to a song we were all taught (I wish there was a version of kids singing it, because that's how I "hear" it, but this should give you a good idea):



I want to be a servant for Christ and others. I want my boys to become those "servant leaders" I admire. In today's culture, though, opportunities for that are rare and not enticing. I mean, even in the church world, we want to proclaim our efforts and receive accolades (or feel that we have to give them to those who do serve....many who want to do so quietly and NOT receive earthly recognition). How in the world do we train children in a world that loves platforms and fame? I'm finding that it isn't easy, but we CAN be intentional in our efforts. Why a servant's heart? As an opportunity to share the gospel of The ultimate Servant-Leader...not just to be a "pushover or a loser" (thanks, Tim Hawkins):



Let me whet your appetite with a few things that have lit my family's fire. :) First, you can read more about how my family has been challenged and how we are starting (we fondly call it the "garbage game") in my husband's post. Check out this blog that will no doubt give you great ideas for random acts of kindness (a launchpad for serving others).

How are you teaching your children or teens to have a "servant's heart"? What does that look like in day-to-day life and how do you apply it? I'm not asking just to get you thinking....I really want to know your ideas so I can share them and maybe even incorporate them into my own home. :)

Much love,
Ashlie

Train Up Tuesday: More Than a Cursory Glance

More than likely, if you follow this blog, you are probably pretty choosy about what your children are watching or what songs they are hearing. We are "those parents" in a lot of ways. The kind who are probably a little too strict on things regarding what we let our kids watch and hear.

Or at least, we try to be. But every once in a while, the guard isn't up as high as we like. Not intentionally but quite innocently. It might be letting the boys look over my shoulder while I search "Pinterest" for cool superhero cakes, or letting them watch the DVD that had not been previewed by Mom & Dad (because we remembered seeing it on television and not having any issues)....and THEN it happens. An image totally inappropriate for myself, much less my kids, sneaks into your image search (a search which is NOT supposed to contain "that" type of content). Or the DVD you didn't preview is not exactly the same as what you remember on TV and words creep through your set that are not in line with your standards.

Just another reminder that you HAVE to be proactive in guarding the hearts, mind, eyes, and ears of your children. Preview your searches before sharing exciting things with your kids. When they are old enough, DON'T let them search alone...even if they are in the same room with you (kids and computers are QUICK!). If they do search alone, do some research on all the filters available. Watch those DVDs and movies before they get the chance. Even if you use a great site, like Plugged In, to be your "preview", be sure that the movies meet your own personal guidelines before sharing them with young children. Individual children can often have their own personal limits about what they can handle. For example, I remember when we went to see "Up" as a family. Great movie. Adorable. But, at the time, my then 3 1/2 year old son was terrified of dogs (a frequent "nightmare" topic for him). It took a while to get past it. Another sidenote: just because it's animated, it doesn't mean it's suitable! Don't let what appears "innocent" get overlooked!

Just a helpful note to you based on our own recent experiences!

Have a terrific Tuesday!
Ashlie

Train Up Tuesday: Sweeter Than Honey

"Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bone."
Proverbs 16:24

This is the verse my family is learning this week (thanks to "My Father's World" curriculum). My oldest son remembers this principal (that of kind words being like jewels) from some studies last year. We came across an old fairytale at the library called "Toads and Diamonds" (read it here). It left quite an image in my son's mind. He often will say to me, "Momma, your words are so nice. It's like jewels are falling out of your mouth!" (That may only make sense to you if you read the previously mentioned fairytale.) :)

This week, as we are memorizing this verse and studying ways to apply it, we used this illustration: place one spoonful of honey and one spoonful of garbage in front of your child. Ask which one he/she would rather have. Even if your kid doesn't like honey, I doubt they would ever consider the garbage! I really didn't even want to serve the garbage - dig for it, put it in a bowl and place it on our table. We should take that same consideration with the words we decide to serve to others.

Upon further meditation on this verse, we talked about where we could get inspiration for these "pleasant words". We realized that the best words can be found in God's Word. We can pray for others, pray for what to say (or not say), say "I love you" or "God loves you". We also talked about the "healing" benefits of honey (hey, I was curious why the Bible says the words are like honeycomb). You should look that up, you might be surprised at all that honey can do for you! Our words can be a healing salve, an antiseptic, a soother for someone's soul (all things that honey can be for the body).

Your family might have a "hive" full of honey that a hurting world, neighbor, or family needs access to. Or maybe your own little family needs those "pleasant words" put into practice inside the home. Either way, take a little time today to get some honey from The Word so that you can have kind words to share with others.

Much love,
Ashlie