You may know that my husband & I read through "Shepherding a Child's Heart," by Tedd Tripp sometime ago. It was a wonderful book because it's main resource is God's Word and His way of training up a child. It really has provide us with encouragement for shepherding our boys. BUT, let me tell you, sometimes I just wanna throw in the towel! (Sound familiar?)
Even with being consistent and biblical, sometimes, it just seems like you are making no headway in this thing. I know I don't feel alone. I recently was talking to a dear friend who is going through the same struggles, and doubting her "technique" (which seemed biblical, too). I'll share with you what God spoke to me (both through my wonderful husband and through His Word).
1. Don't forget Hebrews 12:11: (ESV) "For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it." It seems painful to the kid, sure. But it can seem painful for us as parents, too, I think, especially when it seems to not be getting through. But, if we are patient, just as it takes time for fruit to mature, we will see the "harvest" in due time. It WILL be worth it!
2. Don't forget Hebrews 12:11. "Huh? Didn't she JUST say that?" You don't have to scroll back up, I did say it again. ;-) Don't forget that this verse is God's Word! Not only is it His promise, which can be reassuring, but it is His PLAN. The enemy can cause us to doubt God's Word by working against us...like causing us to focus on not seeing the results as soon as we'd like. It can be easy to lose heart and give up on being consistent to the way that God says to raise, correct, discipline, and love our children and opt for the "modern ways", the ways the "psychologists" (Christian or not), society, pop-culture, or even our well meaning church friends suggest that are more relevant today and seem to be "working". But when that happens we are really saying that we don't value His Word as being relevant to us today! If we choose for an easier, more convenient way out to simply modify behavior, we neglect God's plan for us and our children. If we can't trust His Way as being THE way, then, we in effect teach our children that there are some things where our own experience can trump the Word of God! Be careful of the message that you can send your children by doing that.
So, remember to value God's Word and His way for your family. And remember that His path WILL lead to that "harvest" that we are looking for in our children. Don't lose hope! (I KNOW it's easy to!)