Train Up Tuesday: Thanks to Teachers...and Moms

Happy Teacher Appreciation Week!

I don't know if this is relatively "new" to this generation.  I don't remember anyone participating in this when I was growing up, but it is a lovely thought - thanking teachers. Teachers have to have great patience.  I know it's tough having patience with teaching my own children, and they forgive me when I "lose it", so I can't imagine what it would be like to try to get a dozen or more students on track that don't belong to me personally and not "lose it" with them!

Today, I'd like to thank the teachers who made a memorable impact on my life.  Certainly all of them did in their own way, but there are a few that stick out to me.

In first grade, Mrs. Dixon taught us many things, but it was memorizing John 3:14-19 that sticks out the most.  Imagine being a 6 year old and learning to quote 6 verses!  It felt like such a huge accomplishment.  I remember that as being one of the first things I learned that made me truly proud.  Thanks to those teachers who know that their students are capable and give them what may seem to the little minds "big things" to learn and to do.  It sets new levels of confidence in abilities AND, especially in the case with Scripture memorization, it plants something in their hearts and minds that they will never forget.

In second grade, (don't worry, I'm not going to take you through EACH grade), Mrs. Deal made learning so much fun.  I remember the joy of it being my turn to do a small task (line leader, anyone?), the "freedom" of going to the back table for exploring after completing my classwork, but mostly, it was the songs she taught us.  Silly songs.  Songs about God and Christ.  I can remember to this day almost each one.  And thankfully, I have children who are learning these songs from me now.  Thanks to the teachers who make school days something to look forward to, even in the smallest details without ever having to spend an extra dime to do so.  Thanks to those who teach things like music that are forever in our hearts and become a joy to share with others later in life.

There were certainly others who provided other wonderful things to my life throughout elementary school and junior high.  I mostly enjoyed school during those days.  As I moved into a new school with kids and teachers I didn't know as a freshman, my life took a hard turn.  As a new kid in a new school, along with other hard things my heart was going through, I was relentlessly picked on by a couple of students.  A boy in my grade and a girl a grade above me.  Mostly, it was this boy who made my life most miserable.  I had to start the day off with this kid in my homeroom, which was also my Bible class.  I think I was one of the few students who actually liked Bible class (in a Christian school!).  Even though starting the day with this boy's tormenting words was not something I liked, it was the teacher, Mr. Sandidge who helped make homeroom a safe place for me.

Honestly, I don't know if he was even aware of it.  I ran into him a few years ago and am certain he didn't remember me, but I thanked him for being the teacher he was in those days.  He didn't spend any special time talking to me in class or out of class.  He didn't try to "protect me" in front of the others.  But it was the fact that he seemed to notice that this little introverted, awkward girl seemed interested in the subject he taught and recognized my thoughts and ideas as something of value.  I can clearly remember him reading my papers or ideas aloud (something I would NOT have done myself in front of that class).  So, I'm thankful for those teachers who make "safe places" in their classes for kids like me who may be getting bullied but aren't speaking up; teachers who recognize ideas and thoughts of the new or introverted and share them in a way that doesn't make the child feel further terrified, but rather valued.

I also want to thank the public school (or even Christian school) teachers who reach out to students that they know need the Lord and even help in discipling them or fostering a love for things that are godly.  My husband was one such student attending public school.  After a radical conversion, it was a public school teacher who would pass him gospel music and fueled his love for Christ and godly music.

Just yesterday, a Facebook friend posted "Happy Teacher Appreciation Week" on my wall.  I'm a homeschool mom, so this is probably the only time I've had this said to me.  It was well received ;-)  This friend, though her children aren't home schooled and she and I don't get to connect in the "real world", recognized the value of the work I do.  I'm sure you have at least one friend who is a home school mom who could use your words of appreciation today!

I would be remissed if I didn't also thank mothers everywhere, especially with Mother's Day just around the corner.  Whether you homeschool or not...you are teaching your children.  Teaching them is a command we are given.  Often, our "teaching" (along with other duties) is overlooked by others, not seen as having "worth", and often isn't given the appreciation it is due.  So, thank you, Mothers for all you do in molding your children.  It can be a thankless job...but you are appreciated ;-)

-Ashlie

Train Up Tuesday: Increased Faith

During our recent 2 months of chaos, we had lots of time home...which meant lots of time making due with what was in the cupboards to keep from going to the grocery store. We had plenty, but there are always those items you have to constantly replenish with 3 little boys. Top of the list? MILK!

I know you've heard the stories of the "saints" who needed food or supplies that were miraculously delivered in their times of real need...needs for themselves, orphans, or others. This particular "need" didn't rank up there with those. However, there we were, stuck with just a little milk (enough for one of them), food that "only tastes good when you are having milk with it" as a snack before bed, and the knowledge that there would not be milk for breakfast unless Nana arrived in time the next morning (she alone knew about our "need" and was bringing some by the next morning before church; my husband was out of town and could not fetch said milk or watch little sickly ones so that I could).

So...my boys and I did the only thing we knew to do. We prayed. They knew God hears prayers and answers them. I (though skeptical, honestly), thought this would be a great opportunity to see their faith increased....especially if milk "fell from the sky"! I mean, mine would have been increased, too! Those little voices asking God for something simple as milk, which, again, wasn't an urgent need, were so precious, honest, and sincere. We would have made it fine without the milk. But this need to pray was most important.

Fast forward about 20 minutes later. We await my saintly, very-pregnant-at-the-time sister who was dropping off homemade doughnuts her husband made. We were expecting her to come, but I was in no way going to ask her to stop for milk! She had 2 babies already of her own and things she needed to do.

Her car pulls in. I open the door to see her carrying the doughnuts and lugging a grocery bag obviously full of something heavy, and immediately I know what it is. I call for the boys to come to the door. They are all smiling and celebrating, "Praise the Lord! God gave us milk! God told Aunt Paige!"

He did indeed. My sis "happened" to talk to my mom before arriving at our house and my mom mentioned that we needed milk. You can call it "coincidence"...but God's timing is amazing. My boys told this story to EVERYONE for days! ....and they started praying for EVERYTHING that they saw we "needed" in the following days.

Faith increased? Check! Now to explain the difference between "need" (milk) and wants ("Oreos").

How has your faith been increased lately?

-Ashlie

Train Up Tuesday: Recipients of Encouragement

Are you one of those people that enjoy doing just about anything for someone else...but you almost cringe at the thought of someone having to help you out? Maybe you think you can handle it or you honestly don't want to burden anyone. Maybe it's that you think someone else could better use the offered help or encouragement.

Can I tell you that it might be pride that keeps you from allowing others to step in? How dare I say it? Oh, because I remember coming to that realization several years ago. And by "coming to", I really mean, having it pointed out. Yeah, it was by my immediate supervisor at a previous job. I was talking about my aggravation at having done something mindlessly stupid (locking my keys in a car hours away from home...and trust me, it wasn't a simple remedy like getting a locksmith...it was in a remote area...it involved being driven home

late at night and having to make arrangements to go back to pick up the car the next day). I mentioned that I wouldn't have minded being the one helping someone in a fix, but I loathed being the one that needed the help IN the fix. Quite gently, my boss pointed out that sometimes not wanting others to help us out is a sign of pride in our own life. Ouchie. He said he didn't mean that was the case in my situation...just a thought.

That could have blown right over...except that same day...literally...same day, I had opened an new book and guess the topic...pride in handling things ourselves. Ugh!

So, all that to say I've been in a process of allowing more people to "help" and to "encourage" me in all that is "life". It's still not easy. I mean we all have ways of doing things in

manners that we prefer. Sometimes we can get caught up in our own ways that we can shut out the offers of others.

But people want to help, right? They don't simple want to be the recipients of love, they want to give love, too. And they are blessed for doing so. We shouldn't rob them of their poten

tial blessings. Nor should we shortchange ourselves the beauty of seeing them as caring for us.

My sister (who was VERY pregnant and I think actually due the week she offered help) organized a week's worth of meals for my family last month, when we had been in the thick of much sickness and doctors/hospital visits. It wasn't necessary, I could have handled it. Others were surely in more need than us, but God knew that WE were in need of seeing our "neighbors" in the light of His love. Everything fromhomemade meals, pizza delivery (with pepperoni shaped into a heart), and a catered buffet of sorts from Panera (the nearest one is 25 minutes away from us!), and giftcards for meals showed up at our home throughout the week. The neatest thing was seeing my boys light up at the deliveries. We talked about the graciousness of the friends/family represented in each meal. It was God's love in action. They witnessed it as recipients so now they know what it feels like to be cared for by a "neighbor" in Christ. My hope is that they will remember this in the future when we are able to care for another.

(oven fresh lovin'!)

(you don't always need a dozen flowers to brighten your day...a dozen sandwiches can do the trick, too)

Throughout that week, I remember asking, "Is it possible to be overwhelmed but not surprised?" We were overwhelmed by the outpouring, but knowing the people who gave of themselves, we were not surprised, because they have often showed their love for Christ in their actions, words and attitudes.

I also was overwhelmed by words of encouragement. A Facebook message. A card. A phone call with my Mom or sister. Earnest prayers. Also that "one" phone call. In the middle of caring for 3 boys, my husband answered the phone. It was a friend from a few years ago. Not a super close friend that I hung out with. One I attended church with for a few years and got to know a little. Although she has a Facebook account, I think the last time she checked it was 3 years ago :) However, she called me. She said, "I don't really know why I'm calling. It may be nothing. But I've had you on my heart for about 3 weeks now. God keeps putting little things in my way that make me think of you. So, of course I prayed for you, but God told me to call you...and now finally I have." WOW! She had not seen any "status updates" and hasn't been in my "circle" for years, yet God spoke to her to pray for me. And she did. And she called to encourage me. THAT is amazing!

So, friend, see someone in need? You don't have to look far to be a help. Most of us want to do that.

Friend, are you in need? Have there been offers to help minister to your soul in some way? Don't shut it out. YES, it will encourage you and let you see them in the light of Christ...but you also afford them the opportunity to be blessed with the "feel goods" or validation that their encouragement to you was a God send.

Hope you allow yourself to be encouraged ;-)

Ashlie

Train Up Tuesday: What We're Up To

Hey gals, have any of you noticed our absence on Tuesdays lately? "Life" has been happening to me. I didn't just have ONE "month of Mondays", we were hit with craziness in February AND March! And from the sounds of it, it's been hitting a lot of my friends, family, andacquaintances. But more about that in a future post :)

For now, I'd just like to share a few things brewing in our home to help

us focus on "joy" and good stuff (I'm fond of Pollyanna's "glad game" concept...we'v

e certainly needed something like that around here lately). I found this cute idea on....wait for it....Pinterest and thought I'd introduce it to my family. It's a "warm fuzzies" jar. (Here is the original site that was pinned, which also has several REALLY great Resurrection week ideas!) I placed 100 pompoms (since we recently hit our 100th day of classwork) in the heart and when one family member notices someone else's kind deed or thoughtfulness within the family, the "doer" gets to put a "warm fuzzy" in the vase. Right now, that's all the motivation my little guys need to play the game....just getting to transfer the bright fuzzies. I guess you could have a "reward" for filling the other jar if you felt it necessary, but it is a bit nice to just find satisfaction in noting someone else's kindness, don'tcha think?

Also, I've really wanted to incorporate more celebration and awareness of Holy Week and Resurrection Sunday. It can be a new concept particularly to a Protestant who wasn't brought up much in the way of liturgy. Again, Pinterest was somewhat helpful, but some of my FAVORITE ideas have (once again) come

from Impress Your Kids. One of the posts has a collection of other readers' ideas. I really liked the Resurrection Garden. We made one together and it is quite lovely (even though I don't have a green thumb, I was thankful for being able to dig up grass and moss patches in our own yard....RESOURCEFUL!) ;-)

We are also mixing up our homeschool curriculum and focusing on the lessons that lead us through Holy Week (another reason I love "My Father's World). I'm adding some of the ideas from Impress Your Kids to make it a sensory experience with my boys.

Yesterday, we talked about "The Last Supper" and broke bread with my husband over Skype during his lunch break at work. My oldest (6 y.o.) read from his Bible Reader about the bread. It was lovely.

I hope to have a family foot washing on Maundy Thursday and then prepare our first Seder meal for Good Friday as we talk about Passover to really draw my boys into the story of that final week leading to the Resurrection. I find that recreating the scene really gets lodged into their little brains and hearts. (I saw it in action as we acted out the feeding of the 5000 recently...what fun they had trying to carry 12 "baskets"!) To find out more about a Seder Meal, check out Thriving Family.

Be sure to look back through posts from previous years to see what other Resurrection fun we've had here on the Roof! I know my oldest (AND my husband) looks forward to the Resurrection Rolls again this year!

He IS Risen!...we don't even have to wait until Sunday to celebrate!!!

Ashlie

Train Up Tuesday: My 3 Sons

Chris Kale Photography

I love being a mom, for so many reasons (although from recent posts you've learned what an exhausting job it can be!). One of the things I love about relationships that God allows us to experience (friendships, marriage, parenthood) is how it can cause us to wonder about God's relationship with us.

Recently, now that I have 3 boys with 3 personalities and various needs, I've been praying (quite earnestly) about making sure that God makes up the difference in the attention and time that I give to each child. I love them all so much, but sometimes I fear that one may lack in the attention he needs from momma.

My oldest child is in his second year of homeschool. That means he gets lots of attention from me (thought not always my completely undivided attention). He thrives on learning and doing new things.

My youngest child is a newly walking toddler, into everything, exploring everything, and still needing mommy for lots of things (especially attention). I love the "newness" of this relationship and discovering his personality.

Then, there is my precious middle son, and if you have a "middle" you know what I mean. He sometimes will observe classtime lessons and do the activities to the best of his ability, but usually he wants to get into something other than what is on task. :) He often gets "into trouble", "on my nerves" (asking for things that I can't do at that moment), or like at this VERY moment he is under my arm shaking my hand as I type making an otherwise easy task quite difficult. But....I love him for it. And I know he probably lacks in getting the most attention. So, I have to be purposeful in taking him with me on errands (alone), letting him help me in the kitchen (though it takes at least twice as long), and just holding his hand while walking through the house to let him know I know he is there, and I am there for him.

I wonder if God lets us see this as parents to maybe let us catch a glimpse of Him. We all are in different parts of our walk with Him. Are we deep in His Word, learning about Him, walking with Him and thriving in that each day? Are we new in Christ and relishing in all that the newness brings? Or maybe we feel like we are missing out on something (whether or not it is of our on doing). Yes, sometimes the nearness we feel to Christ is a result of correction, but sometimes it can be His presence as we seemingly struggle in finding where we "fit" with Him and His family.

Regardless of where we are "in THE family", it is so reassuring to know that God wants to draw near to us and will use any means necessary to bring us to that point. Yes, He indeed draws near to those who draw near to Him.

My sweet middle son is indeed striving to draw near to mom, and though I may not be able to give him the same attention as his brothers, I desire to be near him, too. And, though through different methods, I do just that.

If you feel yourself as a mom, struggling to keep balance with your babies and their needs for your attention, pray to the Father to help you make up the difference and that HE would make up the difference in their lives as well.

And take time to thank Christ for wherever you are in your relationship with Him. Seek to draw near to Him and thank Him for how He expresses His love towards you, even though it may not look just like the way He is expressing it to someone else. "Oh, how He loves us!"

Blessings,

Ashlie

Train Up Tuesday: Lest I Forget That I Only Have Them a Short Time

Ever have one of those weeks, days, or months where parenting is just plain tough?! That's been me the last few weeks. Yeah, I read the Good Book and other good books, and implement what I know to be true and timeless standards, but sometimes, it's just tough. Lately, it's been one of those "I-love-you-but-I-don't-really-like-you-at-this-moment" kind of seasons.

In times like these (come on, even those of us who see this as "no greater joy" still have times like this, right?...or is it just me?...are those crickets I hear chirping?), I've found great encouragement in a few things:

1. Admit it - to your spouse, to friends, hey, even on (dare I say?) Facebook. I did all of those things recently. My husband is amazing and knows how to refresh my spirit. And all it took on FB was a status update: "I could use prayers today. Having a tough day as a mom/disciplinarian." That alone lit up my wall with encouraging comments and prayers of friends that I know are lifted me in prayer. It also welcomed inbox messages from people who otherwise wouldn't have ministered to me (thinking I otherwise have it "together" all the time).

2. Pray - which is "admitting it" to God, but it is also a way to soften your heart towards your children, because you do want to mold them into God's image and into turning their hearts towards him.

3. Read your Bible. The ultimate in true godly counsel!

4. Good music. My 15 m.o. son figured out how to find music on my iPhone long before I did! The other night, he pulled up one of my favorites (okay, he's not really a genius, he didn't know it was a favorite, but I do think God was working through my baby's fat little fingers at that moment). Jars of Clay "Boys (Lesson One)" - it speaks of a parent handing down lessons of great worth...and the reminder that all this (growing up, parenting) goes by all too quickly...

Sara Groves also has a couple of songs that I'm trying to keep in my heart and mind: "Prayers for This Child" and "Song for My Sons" (the first being a "prayer" and the second being similar to the Jars' song for its "advice").

Hope that brings you some encouragement to keep pressing on!

Ashlie

Train Up Tuesday: Random Acts of Kindness and Homemade Gift #2

Did you know that November 7th is the beginning of "Random Acts of Kindness" week? You may remember a link to some great RAoK ideas a few weeks ago. Well, I searched on "Pinterest" for some more ideas (unrelated to blogging about it here) and was pleasantly surprised with THIS RAoK Advent idea (Random Acts of Christmas Kindness)! What a GREAT way to "redeem the time" and make the focus of Advent what it was truly intended to be!

I also like the timing of the "RAoK Week" because it leads up to "Veterans Day." Wouldn't it be lovely to take some time THIS week to do some "random acts" for a Veteran you know? Or perhaps you don't personally know a Veteran. Maybe you could keep your eyes peeled when you are in public for some men and women wearing flag pins or hats. You could secretly pay for their meal or coffee and perhaps leave a note of encouragement and thanks to them. Maybe you could do something for the family of a Veteran (those spouses and children have made much sacrifice, as well).

Although (I think) Veterans should often receive "special treatment", I doubt it is as commonplace as it once was. Your children may ask why you are doing it; perhaps the receiver asks as well. Make sure that your children and the Veterans know that it is more than mere appreciation, but that you are a "servant of Christ" and it is your delight to serve or encourage others so that they may see Christ.

What a GREAT opportunity that RAoK Week and Veterans Day affords us this week! Check out randomactsofkindness.org for more ideas!

Homemade Gift (2)
This next gift is so much fun! It's a dress up trunk! Almost every little boy or girl I know would love such a gift. Last year, I collected clothes and costumes for my niece at half price sales at thrift stores and by rummaging through my own unused collection of purses, bags, accessories and jewelry. With the Halloween season behind us, you may be able to score some great steals on costumes. Your imagination is the only limitation! Find either an old suitcase or a rubber storage container. I LOVED seeing my niece's expressions as she discovered all the treasures inside.

Another play on this idea is to make "when I grow up" kits. Maybe you collect things for an original doctor's kit (bandages, cute cold compresses), housewife's cleaning box (empty squirt bottles, aprons, cute rags), or even something imaginative like a "knight's chest" or a "space explorer's backpack". This year, I'm working on a Caboodle's box (does ANYONE remember those?!) filled with real curling and flat irons (with electrical cords removed), hair clips, hair embellishments (maybe I'll find some feathers), and fake make up. I found great inspiration for fake make up that doesn't involve the mess of the play make up. Be sure to check it out on Chasing Cheerios!

Hope this inspires your Advent Season AND your week (You don't have to save RACK for Christmas; make it Random Acts of CHRISTIAN Kindness any day!...Thanks to my friend, Kathy for that one) ;-)

Train Up Tuesday: Words of Affirmation and Homemade Gifts

Okay, let's just get it out there. It's NOVEMBER!!! I know it's still too early for most to think about Christmas, and I certainly DON'T want to rush my favorite holiday (Thanksgiving), but if you've been following the Roof for a while, you know that the ADVENT season is one of my favorite times of year. I always wait until almost the end of November to mention it, so I'm trying to get a jump on it this year. I love the "anticipation" of it all - not just the countdown to Christmas, but instilling the love of "anticipation" for our Lord's return.

So, if you are filled with this "anticipation", I'd like to offer some ideas over the next few weeks on what you can do as you await Christ's return AND an idea of how you can prepare for the coming holiday season.

If you recognize the phrase "Words of Affirmation", you may know the book "The Five Love Languages". (And if you don't know the book, it is WELL worth your read!) In case it doesn't ring a bell, it is the love language that uses the spoken (or written) word to encourage someone you love. Oddly enough, it is often people we think who don't need these words (extroverts, performer types, those managing or directing others) who often need them the most!



Recently, God has "blessed" my family with a few opportunities to use kind words (we started calling them "healing words" in light of our recent memory verse: Proverbs 12:18) in public situations dealing with people who work in some form of customer service. In a couple of different situations, women were struggling with either the boundaries of their position or their inexperience on their new job. In the one situation, we did not have the opportunity to "give" healing words, but in the car ride home, my oldest son asked if we could pray that the lady would have a better day (because it was certainly impacting those around her!). In the second situation, my boys heard me encourage the young lady that her day would get better, which led to another prayer for someone we didn't know.

I say this, not to brag on my "perfect" (*snort*) family, but to encourage you moms to take captive of those little opportunities to bring "healing words" to someone your family encounters THIS week! As a stay-at-home mom, I have to hunt and keep my eyes peeled for such encounters.

Homemade gift (#1)
Over the years, my family has experimented with different gift-givings to try to bring it all back into the right focus. We've done "Make, Bake, Sew, or Grow" (where the gifts you give must fit one of those categories thus making it somewhat homemade); with my kids we've given just 3 gifts (to represent the Magi) and last year we did 4 gifts for each (something you Want, you Need, to Wear, and to Read). We'll probably stick pretty close to the latter again this year. However, I always try to make at least one of the gifts I give (can you tell what MY "love language" is?).

This year, I'll try to share with you some easy-peasy gift ideas that you, too, can make (trust me, it'll be pretty easy....with 3 boys running around, I can't really get into too many crazy hobbies and craftiness)!

One gift that has been fun for me is decorating wooden peg dolls. I found loads of inspiration on Etsy.com and one year I made little families for my nieces and one set for our family (and if I can find a pic, I'll post one later).

This year, I hope to make peg superheros for at least one of my boys who is really into Spiderman lately. I found these cuties on Pinterest (but you can by these through an Etsy shop):




You can buy wooden pegs at Hobby Lobby (wait until unfinished wood goes on sale or take a coupon). If you want more shapes and sizes (as I did), you can buy them from Etsy as well. You can even use the old wooden clothespins (without the springs). Have fun with it, add "hair" or fabric if you are so inclined. OR, if you have a crafty one on your gift list, give them the supplies they need (paints, brushes, glue, pegs) so they can design their OWN peggies. I've even seen some drill little holes, attach a small hook, and make a cute necklace out of their peg people!

Peg people - it's a relatively quick, easy, and inexpensive crafty gift!

Happy November!
Ashlie

Train Up Tuesday: Sweeter Than Honey

"Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bone."
Proverbs 16:24

This is the verse my family is learning this week (thanks to "My Father's World" curriculum). My oldest son remembers this principal (that of kind words being like jewels) from some studies last year. We came across an old fairytale at the library called "Toads and Diamonds" (read it here). It left quite an image in my son's mind. He often will say to me, "Momma, your words are so nice. It's like jewels are falling out of your mouth!" (That may only make sense to you if you read the previously mentioned fairytale.) :)

This week, as we are memorizing this verse and studying ways to apply it, we used this illustration: place one spoonful of honey and one spoonful of garbage in front of your child. Ask which one he/she would rather have. Even if your kid doesn't like honey, I doubt they would ever consider the garbage! I really didn't even want to serve the garbage - dig for it, put it in a bowl and place it on our table. We should take that same consideration with the words we decide to serve to others.

Upon further meditation on this verse, we talked about where we could get inspiration for these "pleasant words". We realized that the best words can be found in God's Word. We can pray for others, pray for what to say (or not say), say "I love you" or "God loves you". We also talked about the "healing" benefits of honey (hey, I was curious why the Bible says the words are like honeycomb). You should look that up, you might be surprised at all that honey can do for you! Our words can be a healing salve, an antiseptic, a soother for someone's soul (all things that honey can be for the body).

Your family might have a "hive" full of honey that a hurting world, neighbor, or family needs access to. Or maybe your own little family needs those "pleasant words" put into practice inside the home. Either way, take a little time today to get some honey from The Word so that you can have kind words to share with others.

Much love,
Ashlie

Wednesday in the Word: There's a sermon in that...

I don't know about you, but it seems to me that, as women, we can be quite territorial. This is something the Lord has really convicted me of lately.

My realllly close friends and family can tell you that I might be one of the world's largest skeptics--a strength when certain discernment is needed but also a great weakness when it turns into a mechanism to protect myself unnecessarily. Truthfully, sometimes it's just easier to stay in your comfort zone  of "like minded" people--but, truthfully, that's just not always where the Lord wants us.

I have a prime example in a furry little lady I know named Sercy. Sercy was my sister's 11th birthday present eight years ago (bear with me even if you aren't a dog person).

Around four years later, a new man entered the scene, this cutie patootie named Boo.

Well, five years after Sercy and Boo became siblings, Sercy still did not really understand the concept or definition of sibling love. She has not liked the competition, the split attention, the company, you name it...she just hasn't been too fond, and quite frankly, it has brought out the worst in her. It's caused her to be snippy, ornary (sp?) and just a grumpy lady!

My parents and sister have been traveling a lot lately so we've been keeping these doggies at our house which means Sercy has been moved out of "her" territory, her comfort zone. She's not the one "in charge." These two dogs have finally been forced onto equal ground.

Low and behold, guess what has happened? Sercy has started LOVING Boo of all things. It's amazing. After all these years, she all of a sudden loves the brother that was given to her and is lost if he is not in her presence. The two of them now look out for one another and are sweet to one another.

How many of us are like that?

 If you ask me, this is a lesson for us women....that once we get over our "territory," we can love our "brother" (or sister) in the way we were created. Furthermore, our "territory" is enhanced and even expands!

I was reminded of this last night when I attended a coffee at my church where I only knew a handful of people. Most of the "security blankets" in my direct comfort zone were not in attendance. Shamefully, if you had told me that not many of my close church friends were going to be there beforehand, I may not have gone. However, it was an AMAZING night. I invited a couple of special friends outside of church that actually came and I was able to connect in a new way with some beautiful sisters in Christ. Most importantly, I witnessed an indescribable energy and presence of the Holy Spirit that I never would have witnessed if I had remained in my comfort zone. I love it when the Lord lifts our eyes!

Both of these examples remind me of the Prayer of Jabez from the Bible.

“Oh, that You would bless me indeed, and enlarge my territory, that Your hand would be with me, and that You would keep me from evil, that I may not cause pain!” 1 Chronicles 4:10

Are you a Sercy? Are you skeptical of anything new in your life? Are you trapped in your comfort zone? I know I am guilty, guilty, guilty.

 Will you join me in praying the prayer of Jabez...that your territory will be enlarged including  really loving your brother (1 John 4:20-21)...yes, even if it's not in your comfort zone?

Train Up Tuesday: Undeserved Trophies

Recently, my boys found out that I had a few trophies from my childhood. I grew up in an era where most trophies still were "earned". Though a few girls I grew up with had numerous awards for beauty pageants, my trophies were for things like memorizing the books of the Bible, winning a spelling bee, character awards, art, and even one for a "marathon" in elementary school. Yet, as "special" as those moments were at the time, all these years my awards have been collecting dust or have been packed away for quite a long time.

When I brought them out (because the boys begged me to), we dusted them. I explained to the boys that they have no real value....gold painted metal, and they wouldn't survive a fire. It was a great opportunity to share a lesson on laying up true treasures in heaven. The boys were quite captivated, though no matter what I taught them, their eyes were still fixed on those trophies.

Later, my husband and I were chatting before bedtime. He told me that we had three trophies...our three sons. I've been chewing on that for awhile. These "trophies" we have been given aren't even "deserved" or "earned"....though we've certainly worked really hard since they were "given" to us. Yet, at the same time, they aren't like those awards given at the end of an athletic season to members who just showed up to meet the requirements of being on the team. Our sons (trophies) weren't carelessly given and half-heartedly received. These have been entrusted to us. They are to be put on display for God's glory. And the way we raise them is what will bring Christ glory...not for our own sakes (though it does feel good for people to notice the job you seem to be doing as a parent) but so that the world will take notice of the Christ that is.



How are you treating your "trophies"? Are they "on display" to shine for Christ in the way you are leading them? Remember, they are more valuable than any earthly treasure. Value them as such!

Much love,
Ashlie

Free-for-all Friday: What's so great about blogging anyway?

A former coworker recently shared a blogpost with me that I knew I had to share with you. If you blog, I think you'll shout a resounding, "Amen!" when you read this. If you're not yet a blogger, it may help you understand all the blogging hooplah and maybe even make you want to start a blog of your own.

Background: Mom in Mendon is a mother and grandmother with grown children including daughters that are probably the age of many of us. She does an excellent job articulating the reason why we thought starting a community such as Roof with a View would be significant for moms. I say, "way to blog, Mom in Mendon!" Us moms following in your footsteps always appreciate the wisdom and insight of our foremothers. You are needed in the blogosphere and on the web! 

Rescued

Blogs are genius. Without question they've done more for Today's Woman than psychologists, counselors, and women's magazines who sought to come to the aid of all those mid-century Donna Reid Moms--mothers like mine. Like me.

In the 1950's and 60's, my mother prepared her four daughters for The Role of house-wifery and motherhood: "The most mundane, yet most meaningful work." She taught us to cook, sew, iron and economize. But she noted, "Happy mothers seem to have something extra going: a hobby, a creative outlet--something besides the Bendix washer on the service porch and a clothes line in the back yard. Something to ease the pressure of keeping up appearances, so all-important in that era. She told me about her friend. Bernice showed her a little pencil sketch she had done. "It wasn't very good, really," Mother explained, but Bernice said, 'I just need to have something else--an outlet.' " Along with all she tried to teach, Mother gave us permission to have an outlet.

There was nothing I wanted more than motherhood. Happily it arrived. But it was a LOT. Consequently, I kept my mother's counsel. With five young children in Riverside, California, I painted watercolors, I learned cake decorating, I tried writing. And mother was right. It helped. But even then, it wasn't enough. "What lack I yet?" I wondered.


Dad wasn't unaware. He praised the BLT's. "This was a lot of work. You had to toast the bread, slice the tomatoes, etc." He willingly sent me off to painting class while he held down the fort. In addition, of course, there were friends and neighbors, girls to call on the phone. 

But despite my best efforts, it was a wistful me who wrote:

1973
Where are all the fans?! Why couldn't someone be there to applaud, or at least nod in admiration...as I deftly, maternally fit a diaper? Or why not a chorus of ooh's and ah's as I place the pot of Spring Garden on the table, with murmured comments around about my ability to balance budget, nutrition and time in one clever meal? I would be modest....[in the face of praise]. An audience is all I require for the maintenance of....patience, wisdom and creativity. In a musical voice I can say to the child bouncing off the couch, "Furniture is not for jumping." The child is bored? "Why, here, Sweetheart. Mother has made this cardboard box into a robot." Exclamations of awe and surprise from the fans. But [the Mom, staying at home in] obscurity has no fans.... If the clean clothes are mounded high on the folding table and the floor goes a few weeks unscrubbed, who will know? If my voice demands harshly, "Get this robe picked up!" no one can condemn.

In fairness to my younger self, I wrote on and explained my conviction that good mothers shouldn't depend on shallow praise for recognition. I ended with a reiteration of my reliance on faith and my certain belief that Eternal Fans watched from beyond the Veil. I still hold fast to those convictions, but it was, nevertheless, a lonely time.

Not so for my grown daughters today. The new Millenium arrived, bringing with it the Web Log. Wow. Precisely meeting their need, blogs provide women with the Audience, with the Fans, with the Recognition. Mothers, wives, single women have been lifted out of obscurity. They don't need a big readership. Mainly, they are no longer alone. That's not to mention the cyber friendships, the fresh ideas, the learning, and the just plain fun they get in online interaction. The internet has filled the void.

I know it's not the answer to everything. We women will continue with our moments of wistfulness. But what a blessing! My daughters are better off. And I'm glad for it.


You can read Mom in Mendon's original post here.

Wednesday in the Word: There's a sermon in that...#3

A couple of weeks ago, I explained how if my husband had a nickel for everytime I see something and say, "There's a sermon in that!" He would have lots of extra spending money! Shall I share my latest visual?
We recently had a little staycation at a nearby lake. One evening, my hubs was fishing and out of the blue, saw a fish making a ruckus on top of the water. Upon closer look, he realized a snake was escorting the fighting fish to the bank of the lake for suppahtime.
We watched the whole scene for a loooong time...the snake getting the fish right where he wanted him so he could devour him, the fish fighting, the snake getting the fish's head in his mouth, the fish fighting, the snake fighting to keep the fish in his mouth, the fish fighting some more.

It was actually quite creepily amazing as you can see in this video.

After this went on for what seemed forever, the snake caught a glimpse of my husband. Just like that, after all of that fighting and work, that nasty snake released the fish and cowardly reatreated.

What about the fish? Well, his fight was not in vain. He happened to still be alive and swam away to freedom!

I'm sure you know where I'm going with this but my mind couldn't help but make the parallels with what Satan tries to do to us and how we are called to keep fighting. The whole snake/fish scene flashed through my mind again as I was reading this entry from the Daily Light.

I am with thee to save thee.

Shall the prey be taken from the mighty, or the lawful captive delivered? But thus saith the LORD, Even the captives of the mighty shall be taken away, and the prey of the terrible shall be delivered: for I will contend with him that contendeth with thee. And all flesh shall know that I the LORD am thy Saviour and thy Redeemer, the mighty One of Jacob. — Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my rightousness.

JER. 15:20. Isa. 49:24 26. Isa. 41:10.

Keep fighting, sisters. Eventually, the enemy WILL retreat. You have all of the strength, protection and help needed in the Lord!

Train Up Tuesday: Where is That "Harvest of Righteousness and Peace"?!

You may know that my husband & I read through "Shepherding a Child's Heart," by Tedd Tripp sometime ago. It was a wonderful book because it's main resource is God's Word and His way of training up a child. It really has provide us with encouragement for shepherding our boys. BUT, let me tell you, sometimes I just wanna throw in the towel! (Sound familiar?)

Even with being consistent and biblical, sometimes, it just seems like you are making no headway in this thing. I know I don't feel alone. I recently was talking to a dear friend who is going through the same struggles, and doubting her "technique" (which seemed biblical, too). I'll share with you what God spoke to me (both through my wonderful husband and through His Word).

1. Don't forget Hebrews 12:11: (ESV) "For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it." It seems painful to the kid, sure. But it can seem painful for us as parents, too, I think, especially when it seems to not be getting through. But, if we are patient, just as it takes time for fruit to mature, we will see the "harvest" in due time. It WILL be worth it!

2. Don't forget Hebrews 12:11. "Huh? Didn't she JUST say that?" You don't have to scroll back up, I did say it again. ;-) Don't forget that this verse is God's Word! Not only is it His promise, which can be reassuring, but it is His PLAN. The enemy can cause us to doubt God's Word by working against us...like causing us to focus on not seeing the results as soon as we'd like. It can be easy to lose heart and give up on being consistent to the way that God says to raise, correct, discipline, and love our children and opt for the "modern ways", the ways the "psychologists" (Christian or not), society, pop-culture, or even our well meaning church friends suggest that are more relevant today and seem to be "working". But when that happens we are really saying that we don't value His Word as being relevant to us today! If we choose for an easier, more convenient way out to simply modify behavior, we neglect God's plan for us and our children. If we can't trust His Way as being THE way, then, we in effect teach our children that there are some things where our own experience can trump the Word of God! Be careful of the message that you can send your children by doing that.

So, remember to value God's Word and His way for your family. And remember that His path WILL lead to that "harvest" that we are looking for in our children. Don't lose hope! (I KNOW it's easy to!)

Much love,
Ashlie

Marvelous Monday: This mother wears combat boots!

Are you a little weary today, tired of fighting and just want to throw in the towel? If so, here is some timely encouragment to gird up those loins and pull yourself up by the bootstraps from one of our fav readers and guest writers, Melanie (aka Mella Bella). She has previously shared a fitness post here on the the topic of running but today we are delighted that she wanted to share some of what the Lord is doing in her heart.

For the past few months I've felt like God has me on the "fast track" of refinement. Over and again, opportunities arise in which I see two possible paths. One path is laced with grace. I can extend grace and seek unity and peace not only in my actions which are visible, but in my attitude which I could easily camouflage from onlookers.

The other path is paved with "the right to." The right to defend myself, the right to take offense, the right to quit the game, pick up my ball and go home.

Can I just admit that there are moments in my life in which I find it very hard to be a grown up woman? I'm talking about a grown up woman of God. The kind of woman who speaks the truth in love. The kind of woman whose spiritual branches artfully display the Fruit of the Spirit. The kind of woman who is not jealous, sarcastic or snarky. Oh it's easy when life is easy but when someone steps on your toes? Ouch.

But thank the Lord for THE LORD! His presence in the person of the Holy Spirit reveals snapshots of who I yearn to be, of who I CAN be in Him! And I am not willing to be any less. And He's not willing to let me.

But, I'll tell you, it does not come easy for me. I want to be right. I want to defend myself. I want to shout, "You're not playing fair!" and "You just don't understand!" I want to scrunch up my face, turn on my heel and announce, "I quit!"

God has done too much for me to do that to Him and to His body! I must choose to discipline my flesh, like Paul, who wrote, "But I discipline my body and bring it into subjection, lest, when I have preached to others, I myself should become disqualified" (1 Cor 9:27).

So while I may sometimes hesitate before the path of "the right to," and even take a step in that direction, I'm grateful for the Light of the Word revealing the potholes and quicksand down that path.

Paul teaches us that we are running and competing for a prize and we must exercise self-control if we are going to obtain the imperishable crown. He goes on to say that he fights his own flesh, and not as a shadow boxer but as one who disciplines his self-defeating, fleshly desires.

So I'll keep running and I'll keep fighting and if someone steps on my toes, it'll be okay and I'll choose not to take offense because starting now, this mother wears combat boots!

You can read more from Melanie on her blog here.

Wednesday in the Word: There's a sermon in that...

A couple of weeks ago, I explained how if my husband had a nickel for everytime I see something and say, "There's a sermon in that!" he would have bookoos of money to support his favorite hobby. Some of these illustrations don't even need words and a picture does more justice. Here is one of my latest visuals, but first, I do need to give a little background.

My sweet one year old baby girl has started a new trend in the crib world. Several times now, I have gone into her room and she has managed to retrieve the "soilage" from her diaper and has been tickled pink to experiment with it as fingerpaint. Perhaps it's to entertain her twin brother who is her biggest fan and loves to egg her on from across the room. The most amazing part is how proud she is and the anticipation on her face that I too will be proud of her. Note the sheet, the crib, the shirt, the smile.

Yes, it's disgusting but, of course, it's hard to be mad at this face. I love this girl and wanted to save her as fast as I could from that nastiness. As an attitude adjustment and I were butting heads during the clean up and sanitizing, I had to stop myself.

• How many futile attempts have I made to "please" Lord? (Lots.)
• How many messes have I made? (Lots.)
• How many times has he loved me anyway and rescued me from those messes? (Lots.)

Once again, THANK YOU, Jesus!

He will redeem his soul from...the Pit,
And his life shall see the light.
 Behold, God works all these things,
Twice, in fact, three times with a man. Job 33:28-29 NKJV

...he rescued me because he delights in me. 2 Samuel 22:20, NLT

For the eyes of the LORD move to and fro throughout the earth that He may strongly support those whose heart is completely His. 2 Chronicles 16:9

I love that He knows my heart, He loves me, He rescues me and that He gently reminds and quiets me with his love...over and over again. Just a few more reasons that I'm thankful for Jesus. :)

Marvelous MEMORIAL MonDAY: Honoring the Honorable!

Dear Military Wives,

As our country honors your spouses today, in RWAV fashion, we want to honor YOU and your sacrifice!

Thank you for all of the heart wrenching goodbyes you have said on behalf of our freedom.

 Thank you for all of the exhilirating "welome homes" that you took the time to make extra special for your men on behalf of our freedom.

Thank you for enduring the unknowns, the unbearable, the gut wrenching pain, great loss and grief--for wives like us and our families that you don't even know--on behalf of our freedom.

Today, we honor YOU among the honorable. Your men couldn't do it without you--and neither could we OR our country. God bless you, precious women! We salute you.

Train Up Tuesday: The REAL Students in Homeschool...

I hope you've enjoyed reading encouraging words from Becky Seamon of the blog "High Heels at His Feet" this month. It's been a real treat to have her insight on the adventures of homeschooling. The following is part 3 of a series she has written.

What I Have Learned From 17 Years of Homeschooling Part 3

“Lessons for Mom”

Not only have I learned that I can only home school through His strength by bathing each step in prayer, but I have learned that character trumps book learning in preparation for life and service to God.

It is a comforting truth that the greatest lessons are not ones that come from a text book. I believe the deepest traits my children will use in this world have been lessons of character. Don’t get me wrong, we use curriculum from cover to cover. We have a daily schedule and lesson plans. I take this responsibility very seriously. However, Godly character will carry one through the difficult places of learning and life.

With a concept of honesty, one will do his “best as unto the Lord.” With determination, one can continue until there is completion.

Through character traits combined with the Lord as one’s guide, our children will be prepared for life. I have witnessed home-scholars that not only survive in this world but thrive. I believe this is because Godly character traits were taught through home educating.

I have also learned that siblings can be best of friends. My children have grown to deeply love and respect each other.

My 14 year old states that his brother is his best friend. They are very close. They have been known to complete each others' sentences while sleeping.

I recall when one of our sons volunteered to take the punishment of his brother. Tears ran down my face as he endured his brother’s spanking. Through my son’s wisdom, his brother’s hardened heart melted. It was a turning point of submission to authority.

I have seen an older sister care and tend to younger siblings with the sweetest of compassion.

This bond has been formed one step at a time from hours, days, years together at home through their childhood. They were not separated by age and classroom. They played together, learned together, and worked together. They created memories together. It has developed a bond that has not been easily broken.

I have also learned that teenage years can be the best of times. It does not have to be a rebellious stage. We have enjoyed our children at every period of life. I am not saying that we have enjoyed every moment. Parenting has been the hardest yet most rewarding journey I have ever traveled. Yet, there is a state of completion when your children move from the parent/child relationship into a friend relationship. Having young adults that respect and love their parents is an inexplicable joy.

“Treasured Moments”

In closing let me add, if I could do one thing over, it would be to relax and take pleasure in each moment. Truly, I would love to go back in time for just one afternoon. Instead of focusing “to get it all done,” I would take the afternoon and just play with my children…a game, a walk, even to just sit with my little one and hold him tight. The moments pass quickly and each day is to be treasured.

Today is a special treasure as well. My children are living proof that an ordinary, inadequate mom can teach her children. Our oldest child graduated from Liberty University [this May] with a psychology major. Our oldest son has completed his first year at college. I still have two eager boys learning at home. I never dreamed it possible 17 years ago. I only mention this as encouragement to you. By God’s grace, it can be done and it can be done well. Don’t quit in this journey my sweet sister. From one home school mom to another, it is worth it. Your efforts will pay off. Your little ones will grow up and thrive in this world. And you may discover that your children are not the only ones being “schooled” in your home.

Thanks again, Becky for your real life observations!

Sisters, come back next week! School is O-U-T for the summer, so I KNOW you need some good ideas to help "entertain the kiddos" ;-)

Blessings,
Ashlie

Train Up Tuesday: Encouragement from a Pro for When Homeschooling Gets Tough

Last week, I introduced you to Becky Seamon, a homeschooling mom of 4 who has been doing it for 17 years! She has more encouragement for you today! Please enjoy:

What I Have Learned from 17 Years of Homeschooling Part 2

“When It Got Tough”

I must admit, I was passionate my first several years of homeschooling. There was a stimulation of learning within my oldest two that was exciting. We rose to the occasion. But I would be less than honest, if I did not tell you that as more children came along, different grade levels needed to be taught with a toddler pulling on me, and a baby crying, I began to watch the “air of excitement” seep out of our learning adventures. Just to get through the day, I needed fifteen hands and patience of mother Teresa and I had neither. I can remember moments when I would throw my arms in the air and threaten to enroll my children in the public school and daycare by noon that very day. I felt I was “ruining” our children. I was weak. I was tired. I was drained. I wanted to turn in my resignation.

I sat at my sticky kitchen table and told the Lord I could not do this any longer. As I told Him “I quit,” He whispered gently, “Though you are weak, I am strong.” I poured my questions, fears, and uneasiness into prayers. I was reminded, “He who began a good work in me would complete it.” I began to intentionally seek Him. I began to act on His guidance. I started praying through virtually every aspect of homeschooling. I saw direction as I prayed. I realized I must seek understanding from the One who knows the beginning and the end. This new depth in my prayer life became an on-going habit through the following years of teaching my children. I have prayed over curriculum, teaching methods, clarification in specific topics and even laid hands on my computer asking God for mercy to operate modern day equipment…Honest. He has given the direction needed in each step of the journey. He has placed others in my path that could answer my questions. He has provided co-op classes to teach the High School subjects I felt inadequate to present. He provided friends to care for my children on days I felt overwhelmed. He has proven that He is able, when I am not. He taught me that He gives wisdom and strength when I ask Him. James 1:5 states, “If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without fault, and it will be given to him.” It has been a journey of not only re-learning from textbooks as I train my children, but gaining wisdom from my Lord as I seek Him.

Come back next week for part 3! In the meantime, you can check out Becky's blog, too!

Blessings,
Ashlie

Train Up Tuesday: Encouragement from a "Pro"

I hope you all had a lovely Mother's Day. I love learning from moms of all backgrounds. And I love the path God has me on with homeschooling and the encouragement I've been receiving. One lady in particular is an inspiration to me. Becky Seamon is not only the wife of our church's associate pastor, but also an encouragement to women in so many areas of life.

Recently, I posted a series of "homeschool" themed articles. I know that my limited "first year" perspective may seem skewed, so I wanted to bring you thoughts through a different view, another lens...someone who has been doing it well, for a while. Hope you enjoy!

What I Have Learned from Seventeen Years of Homeschooling

“Beginning Steps”

I remember very clearly twenty-two years ago when my husband walked through the doors of our little apartment from a full day of attending classes at Mid-America Seminary and handed me a stack of papers. He then stated, “We had a guest speaker visit our school today. He spoke on homeschooling. I brought you some information. I think we should consider this.” I sharply replied, “I will never home-school our children. Homeschoolers are weird,” as I shoved the papers across the coffee table in his direction. Because my husband is a wise man he simply responded with, “Well, just pray about it.” I thought to myself, you pray about it, I don’t need to.

He must have prayed pretty hard for when it came time to enroll our daughter in Kindergarten there was uneasiness in my spirit. I had an educational background and decided I could at least handle Kindergarten. Then we would reevaluate. That year I did the research…I learned that academically home educated students scored off the charts on their standardize test. I observed that with the individualized instruction a child receives through homeschooling, lessons can be customized to the learning style of the child. I found hundreds of curriculum designed for home educators. I witnessed an over whelming amount of children who had a love for learning and knew how to think for themselves. They could research answers and apply knowledge. But what convinced me the most was the living testimony of the families I “ran into” that year. The children were well behaved with an amazing respect towards adults. Most had a love for the Lord and lived their convictions. Contrary to my former assumption, they were not lacking social skills but could relate to others of all ages. They were not home bound but busy in the community with projects, clubs, co-op groups, fieldtrips, church events and sports. Their homes were crazy with activity yet homes filled with peace. Needless to say, I was hooked. That first step has turned into many small steps; steps that turned into a journey of seventeen years….a journey of one math problem at a time, one science project at a time, one day at a time.
Yet, a path that created curiosity within the minds one little girl and three rambunctious boys as they observed…

• Quail hatching under an incubator in my living room
• A hamster loose in my house for days…did I mention that it was loose for days???!!!
• Finger paint on my chairs
• Chicken bones soaking in vinegar
• A cow tongue on the kitchen counter
• Seeds planted in plastic cups sitting on the window sill
• Eyeballs for dissecting
• Bird houses constructed
• Stacks of textbooks on my kitchen table
• Laptops humming
• A science experiment that went wrong and caught on fire
• Book reading on the front porch swing

Has it been easy? No. Has it been rewarding for my family? Absolutely. Would I do it over? Without a doubt. Was my husband right on this? I plea the fifth. :)


Come back next week for more inspiration from this sweet woman of God. To learn more about Becky Seamon, PLEASE check out her wonderful blog: "high heels at His feet"!

Much love,
Ashlie