The past several weeks I have seen an unhealthy trend in the marriages around me... miscommunication! She says one thing, he hears another. He says something, she hears another. Both are listening for what they want to hear and are formulating a defense without giving pause to think about what the other is really trying to say. Here are two simple examples:
Husband says,"You sure are grumpy lately."
She hears you are a failure as a mother and wife
He is trying to communicate I would like to be close with you, I desire your love
Wife says, "I won't live in a marriage like this"
He hears I want a divorce, I am through with you
She is trying to communicate I want to work on our marriage, I desire a full life with you
The problem is we are all selfish in our flesh and without a greater vision we cannot see beyond our limited vision. God is the great "I am". He is all knowing and can see everything in completion, beginning to end. If we yield our hearts to Him, He can guide in a way everlasting. His love is greater than any love we can offer one another and His ways are beyond anything we can ask or think.
I am not a mind reader and I bet you are not either. The only one capable of changing your spouse or you is God almighty himself. Instead of focusing on what we "think" we hear I would challenge you to start praying the simple prayer, "Lord change me." Either when trying to share your heart with your spouse or listening when he is trying to communicate with you, ask the Lord to help you discern what is true and what the heart of the matter really may be. God sees the big picture and in that I put my hope and trust.
Still growing up!
Ephesians 3:20-21 "Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power (the Holy Spirit of God) that works within us,to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen."