Sunday, March 20, 2011

Safeguard your Spouse Sunday: Fillin' Up Those Loooooooove Tanks!

Yesterday, I listened to a Focus on the Family podcast that featured Dr. Gary Chapman, author of the book, The 5 Love Languages.  If you haven’t read this book, I think it’s a must-read for couples.  I’ve even found that it has helped me learn how to love other people in my life better (like a sibling, friend or parent) by tuning into to their specific love language.

On this particular broadcast, Dr. Chapman suggested an exercise for married couples to complete once a week.  He suggested asking your spouse how full their “Love Tank” is on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being the highest rating.  If your spouse says anything less than 10 (which would mean they are soooo filled with love, they couldn’t possibly feel any more love in their life), then the next question he suggests asking is, “What can I do to help you feel more loved?” I love my husband with all my heart, but I know I can always do a better job at showing it.  So I decided to ask my husband these questions that same night!

After dinner, before I got up to start the dishes, I suddenly got very nervous.  Just as I was getting ready to ask the official “Love Tank” questions, I realized I haven’t been doing much to intentionally make him feel loved lately.  My husband is a very kind and gentle man, but he’s also honest, so I knew he wouldn’t sugar-coat his answer.  I also have been overwhelmed with life in general these days and to be honest, I thought to myself, “I don’t possibly think I could accomplish one more thing in my day or put one more item on my To-Do list”.  Ever felt like that?  (If you’re a mom, I’m sure you’ve felt that way too often- or is it just me?!?) . 

Well, imagine my surprise when his answers included mostly small things that I can easily fit into my day.  One example was that he loves it when the baby and I meet him at the door when he gets home from work.  Since I can hear his diesel truck coming a mile away, that’s more than easy! :)  He said he’d also like more dates nights with just the two of us.  What a great idea!  My apprehension was quickly laid to rest and now I have a tailored-made list directly from my husband of great ways to make him feel loved. 

So, ladies, what do you think?  Is tonight the night you’ll ask your “Love Tank” questions?  I definitely encourage you to do so!


PS Oh! I forgot to mention my “score”.  It was a very generous 8- I am sure I would have scored myself much lower than that :).

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