Monday, January 11, 2010

Cutting the cord

In recent days and over the course of my marriage I have had the opportunity to either unite with my husband or oppose his position on issues relating to my family. Backing up a bit... I grew up the oldest of two girls who were the best of friends and a mom who was very present in our lives. On the other hand my father was an introverted workaholic who was around only for fun and never took much interest in disciplining us or pouring wisdom into our lives. He was the good guy and my mom was the bad (so I thought). As children we form views of our parents based on a reality that is not mature or objective. We are seeking love, security and approval as children and we will mask according to our unmet needs. I love my family and they are very important to my life. So important, that for many years I had not cut the cord in my heart. It was as if I had left the boat my family was traveling on and jumped into another with my husband but still was holding on to the anchor connected to my parents boat. I could not set sail with Mike because the boat my new life was on was being dragged along with my parents.

There have many many frustrating arguments between Mike and I where he would bring up things he saw that may have not been healthy in my family but I took those personally and would get defensive and close my eyes to the truth of what he was saying. God has been faithful in providing me the opportunity to truly cut the cord and form a healthy bond to my husband. The first opportunity I took was two years ago when my dad cheated on my mom. That was a turning point that led me to turn to Mike and see what a great and wise man I had married. The second is a recent family feud where I have been given the chance to either stand by my husband or turn from him in order to side with my family. I was talking with my mom and out of mouth came words I never thought were possible, "Above all people I chose my husband." PRAISE and GLORY all to the father who has not given up on my stubborn will.

God is patient and loving. He can do anything and He does not see time as we do. If you are struggling in your marriage don't give up. It is never too late for change while you still have life on earth. The greatest prayer I ever learned from reading Stormie Omartians book The Power of a Praying wife was "Lord change me." I started praying that five years ago and God has been doing it ever since.

Looking at the Bible:
I challenge you to read through the Genesis 2 account of the creation of the man and woman and the union as one flesh. There is more biblical information than I have time or space to write so please follow this link, read through the passage and look at the notes with each verse.
Genesis 2:24 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.

Questions based on verse 24:
1) For what reason?
2) What does it mean to leave?
3) What does it mean to unite?
4) What does it mean to be one flesh?

All the answers are on

Learning to let go!

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