My husband, Mike, and I have two towel bars, side by side, in our bathroom. Since we moved in our house about a year ago, he never has hung his towel the way I wanted. To give you a little more understanding I fold the towel in half lengthwise and the folded side hangs to the left.
To give him the benefit, I never actually told him in words how I wanted his towel hung. Instead, I thought he would read my mind, observe how I hung my towel and follow my lead BUT Mike was taking his towel, folding it in half lengthwise but the folded side was on the right.
Now, you are thinking this lady is crazy… her husband hangs his towel up what more does she want?! I know, I admit I am very type A. like everything to be in its place and have a sense of order. This ridiculous tale does have a point so hold on...
As God likes to do in my life, He spoke to me through this silly struggle I went through every morning after I hung my towel up and then rehung Mike’s.
As clear as my own voice I heard God say, “fold it his way.”
My way is the best way, my way is the right way, my way is the only way.
Oh no! Here I go again...independent and unsubmissive to God and my husband.
"Simple. Fold it Mike’s way and then they will be uniform."
Actually, to me, it didn’t matter the direction. I just wanted them to look the same.
I can’t begin to tell you how this trivial task revealed a much deeper need in me to let my husband lead and for me to align myself with his direction. Both ways worked but giving over to his leading was what God desired of me.
The next step was to NOT TO SAY ANYTHING and just start rehanging my towel. So, for several days I would take a shower and then make a conscience choice to fold it the opposite way that came naturally to me. It was a wonderful moment I shared with the Lord each day as I chose to follow Mike.
The impact on me was huge and I felt it was time to share this with my husband. For the record, I am the pride holder in the marriage and I am not good at admitting wrong (Mike is fabulous at this). As we were driving in the car, I looked at him and said, "There is something I need to share with you."
I told him the story and he began to laugh. He said that he thought he had been hanging the towel the way I wanted all the time. From that day forward, he started changing his towel direction (which I didn’t ask him to do)!
A simple moment of communicating with him moved his heart to do something the way I had wanted all along. I think the greatest impact was him seeing me be vulnerable and admit, in humility, the struggle I had been having.
1) Ephesians 5:22 says “Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.”
Wives, submission is not to be mistaken for control. We do not submit so that they can control us. We submit because we are doing it in reverence to the Lord. If we fail to yield to our husbands, ask their opinion and consider them in our decisions, we are failing to yield to God Himself.
2) 1 Peter 3:1-4 “In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior. Your adornment must not be merely external--braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.”
This verse often comes to mind when I am with my husband. God has taught me to shut my mouth over the fifteen years of knowing my husband. When I shut my mouth, listen, pray for him and let God do His work, Mike hears GOD...not me. When Mike hears my voice, he shuts down.
At the end of the day, we as wives and/or mothers are all tired and ready to clock out. The joy of motherhood is that our job is NEVER over. The very conflict is in the fact that your job as wife/mother is NEVER over.
We must make the choice today to give our husbands the silent treatment when he comes home. I am not talking about the "angry...I hate you because you left me with these kids all day and you don't know how much I do for you in a day" silent treatment. I am talking about a hug and a kiss when he walks in the door, a smile on your face, an open ear to whatever he wants to tell you...a closed mouth to your opinions and complaints.
Blessings to you all my sisters!