Sunday, February 22, 2009

Safeguard Your Spouse Sunday: Betrayal

We've decided to make Sunday's feature on the topic of spouses...loving them, submitting to them, forgiving them, honoring them...SAFEGUARDing them. You name it. We'll cover it.
But why "safeguard?" Let's just take a quick look at Webster for the definition:
1. One who, or that which, defends or protects; defense; protection.
2. A precautionary measure warding off impending danger or damage or injury.
3. An escort providing safe passage through a region especially in time of war.
4. Something that offers security from danger

If you're reading this, chances are you desire (hopefully) all of the above definitions in relation to your marriage but we'll save the "how" for....
...your feature contributor, Annie! If you didn't meet Annie on our introduction of the Women of RWAV, you can learn more about her and her heart for your marriages here. It won't take long before you'll love her to pieces and want to "sop her up with a biscuit." :) Have at it, Annie girl!
Hi ladies!!!

I know we want to keep things upbeat here but but I am going to "cut to the chase." I keep being faced with people going through marital discord and adultry

March 2006, October 2008 and January 2009 were the three hardest moments of my life.

Three couples who are dear to my heart began the struggle of recovering from a betrayal of their spouse. Two men and one woman chose to look outside their marriages to find love and fulfillment.

I wasn't the spouse but the betrayal affected every part of my life and my soul. If you have experienced this type of betrayal or been the one to betray you know the gut wrenching pain I am talking about. Questions raced through my mind.

Who can I talk to?
How will they survive?
Divorce is not an option, there are precious children, grandchildren involved!
Who do we call?

Who can fix this?
Why? Why? Why!!

I really don't want to be apart of this ministry but feel called to SHOUT from the rooftop that there is hope. Reconciliation is possible and a marriage can survive.

If you can relate to any of the above, there is a ministry called Affair Recovery Center that is a great starting point. They provide great information and resources for anyone facing betrayal from a spouse (including pornography, destructive behaviors, or even inappropriate friendships outside of marriage). On this site you will find:

-31 reasons for anyone entangled in adultery to STOP an affair. (click here)
-A free affair analysis (click here)
-Online recovery groups (click here)
-Many other great tools.

God is the only one who can heal such pain. Forgiveness does not happen with one statement of "I forgive you". I thought that was how this worked...forgive and move forward. Honestly, it takes a long time and many highs and lows to find peace within the relationship. I am no expert but I have seen amazing things happen through this ministry and Rick Reynold's counseling center.

It is a lonely, dark place when a woman or man finds themselves betrayed by their spouse. It can also be a dark place for the betrayer because the sin is entangling their life.

For God, who said, "Light shall shine out of darkness," is the One who has shone in our hearts to give the Light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ. 2 Corinthians 4:6

Our God who spoke light into the world at the beginning of earthly time has the power to overcome whatever hurt you may have today.

Feel free to email Annie at

Blessings to all my sisters.


HPS said...

Talk about speaking in the light whatever the Lord shows you in the dark!!!! Thank you, Annie, for speaking what may be an "unspoken" for many. I know this will be an encouragement and hope to many women that may not know where to turn.

Carolina Clipper said...

Thank you for your honesty and for including practical tools for those who need help. Marriages are being attacked on so many levels! My prayer is that this will bring awareness that women are not alone in their struggles. Great post Annie!